castles → lil peep (completed)

Big City Blues

Chapter Nine

"So, I'm guessing you like this place?"

Gus stopped mid-chew of his burger and looked at me like I was crazy. Of course he liked this place, we were sitting in a Scooby Doo themed diner booth, with his friends music playing in the background.

I picked up my burger and took a bite just looking at him as he looked back at me. It was a comfortable silence where we both studied each other until he spoke up.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"Why doesn't Layla love me?"

Now it was my turn to stop mid chew as he waited for my response. He looked at me in a way that showed that he trusted me with the truth. I knew exactly what I wanted to say but they just broke up. It wasn't even fair, it would just confuse him.

I quickly swallowed so I could answer him without making him nervous.

"You wanna know what I really think or what I think you should hear?"

"Both"

"Well to know what I really think you'll have to get me high first"

"So tell me what you think I need to hear"

"You should talk to her and at least try to end on good terms"

"Let's get out of here"

We ditched our half eaten food and a $20 bill before walking back to the bus hand in hand, something I knew was just a friendly gesture in Gus' eyes.

"So first show tonight? You excited?"

"This is what I live for man, if it wasn't for my music and fans I would be dead right now"

"Don't you dare"

I stopped walking and glared at him as hard as I could.

"What's up?"

"Don't you dare joke about that shit dude, you mean too much to too many people"

"I'm sorry baby girl, I'll stay alive for you"

"You betta"

"Let's go get high"

///////////////

I could feel the weed take effect as an also high Gus sat opposite me, waiting to hear what I truly thought of him. I'm just glad that whatever I say, we'll both forget it by tomorrow morning.

"Okay......"

"Lay it on me gurrlllll"

" I think you're absolutely amazing. You are the best human being I've ever met and you deserve so much more. You have your flaws and I love that about you, you're utterly fucked up and that makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore. I'm positively, without a doubt, in love with you and yeah I'll be hurt if you don't feel the same but I'll always be here for you no matter what. I don't even care if you use me as a rebound.....forget that, that was the weed talking"

He didn't say anything, just stared at me before walking away and climbing into his bunk. Well that's one way to get rejected....by your best friend.

"FUCK!"

I grabbed the nearest empty beer bottle and chucked it at the wall, watching the shards of glass fall over the floor. No one stirred so I grabbed my things and went out.

The cold 10 pm air blew against my face and made a beeline for UNO's Shack which I was grateful for being open 24/7. I pushed open the door and sat in the warm establishments, in mine and his booth.

I didn't even care I was missing his show right now.

I ordered one beer and just cried for what seemed like hours. I'm depressed, coming down from a high and getting drunk to avoid the fact I got rejected by my best friend.

I've hit rock bottom.

/////////////

Three more beers later, it was 1am and I was still crying, trying to get drunk and forget today even happened.

I heard the door open and close but didn't budge to see who it was; I was comfortable with my head on the tear-covered table, crying my heart out as quietly as I could.

A light tap on my shoulder made me raise my head just a bit but not high enough to see who it was.

"Okay unless you work here go away"

I could still feel the presence by me so I looked up to see Gus standing there with an odd look in his eyes.

I stood up awkwardly with my hands in my jean pockets.

"Look Gus you don't have to say anything because you don't owe me shi-"

Before I could continue, he cupped my cheeks and kissed me.