castles → lil peep (completed)

Beamer Boy

Chapter Eleven

We had arrived in Pennsylvania and settled into out posh as fuck hotel that management had organised for us. Let's just say it wasn't long before Gus and I "broke in" the hotel bed.

We were currently walking to the venue so we could talk in the view of philly (I changed the location of UNO's Shake to Albany for the sake of the story) when I was shoved into an alley but Gus.

"What the heck are you doing?"

"I just saw Layla"

"The fuck? Why would she be here and why are we hiding in an alley?"

"Because I don't want her to see me?"

"You can't let her have this control over you"

"How would you feel if you saw John walking around? I'm pretty sure you would hide in an alley too"

I stood there in utter shock; struggling to believe he just said that and. From the look on his face I think it has just hit him too.

"Listen Em I'm so-"

"Shove it"

I didn't look back, I just walked as fast as I could as I tried to control my tears that wanted to spill. There's seeing your ex but then there's seeing your fucking abuser. They are not the same thing.

I walked faster to try and keep up with T and Horse But I think they thought we wanted to do our own thing so they carried on. Bloody bastards. I luckily hadn't lost sight of them so I followed as quickly as I could with Gustav calling after me.

I physically and mentally don't have the strength to do this right now. I really fucking don't.

"Emily McDan will you please just hear me out!"

I spun around; attempting to control my harsh feelings.

"No, I will not hear you out because this time you have gone too far!"

I took a deep breath and felt myself calming as I continued.

"I love you so fucking much but after what you just said I need some alone time. Just go and catch up with the others, I'm going to take a cab straight there."

"I'm sorry and I love you too"

I smiled slight and climbed into a waiting cab as he stood there watching as if he was waiting for something to happen. But nothing did, I just looked at him as the Taxi started to pull away.

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*Gus' POV*

Fuckshitfuckballsshitfuckdickfuck!

I've finally done it, I said the worst thing I ever could to her all because I lost my shit over seeing Layla. I wonder when I'll receive my award for world's worst boyfriend?

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head and I headed straight for the nearest apple store. Why haven't I done this sooner? I looked around and found the perfect one : small but not too small, light, and powerful.

I talked to the store assistant who tried to flirt with me but failed miserably and left half an hour later but decided to stop start bucks on my way back.

I got her favourite: a caramel ginger frappe with cinnamon and my favourite: black coffee with triple vodka shot.

I'm not going it lie, I was nervous that she would think that I was trying to buy her forgiveness but I didn't know what else to do. Flowers in a tour bus wouldn't last long and Tracy would probably steal chocolates when he would get the munchies.

Through the hustle and bustle, I made it to the venue exactly five hours before the show but had to go round the back because there was already people lining up.

I went to the dressing room and saw her softly wiping some stray tears while smoking a blunt with Tracy and Horse. They all looked up at me, the guys pissed and Em slightly sad.

I was going to get a ear full later.

"Hey, I want to apologise because I was beyond out of order and I don't deserve you not even for a second but I decided to get you some things because you fucking deserve it. Just know I'm not trying to buy you or anything"

She chuckled quietly at my nervousness as I handed her the apple bag and coffee. She looked like she had a mini orgasm when she took a sip of her beverage but her eyes almost exploded out of their sockets at sight of the new laptop.

"Holy fuck babe! You didn't have to"

"But I wanted to.....and I broke your old one weeks ago"

She jumped and we embraced each other tightly as if we were afraid to let go. I promised myself this would be the last time I would fuck up.

///////////////

I was standing on stage singing and rapping my heart out alongside some of my best friends with my perfect girl just to my left. For the time being I knew things were gonna be good but I was probably only thinking that because I was high on Xanax.

After White Wine and Girls, it was time for honestly which I decided to dedicate it to Em. It was true, I would blow my brains out just for her. I can't put into words how much she deserved and how I wasn't it. All I am is some fucked up, suicidal druggie who can't pull his fucking shit together.

But I made her happy and she made me beam