castles → lil peep (completed)

Falling 4 Me

Chapter twenty six

I knew to Gus it hadn't registered in his mind what he had said but it did in mine. He wanted to marry me one day? Did he mean that or was he just intoxicated? I had no idea what to think.

As time turned from night to morning, more people said their goodbyes and others had to be dragged out. I was sat on the couch staring out of the window, the city was always beautiful at this time.

I felt a pair of hands pull my body into theirs and snuggle with me. I swivelled round into Gus and clung to him like he was my life source.

"You okay baby?"

"Did you mean it? When you said you wanted to marry me one day?"

"Of course, I fucking love you and can't see a future without you in it"

I moved out of his arms and went back to staring out the window, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me? Who would want that?

"I don't understand. I've caused you so much trouble, stress and made you miss so many shows"

"Are you kidding me? All the times you think you caused me stress only happened because I either hurt you or upset you in some way"

"But I always overreact"

"No you don't, all over your reactions are totally justified. Before we were going out, if I found you had a boyfriend I would have freaked out too"

"Why? You had Layla, I only had you"

There was a long silence and I had gotten up to go to bed, the conversation was getting too deep for my liking.

"What made you fall in love with me?"

I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him.

"Huh?"

"What made you fall in love with me? I'm a druggie with issues, what is there to love?"

I knew he wasn't the most confident person but it really upset me how badly he thought about himself. Druggie with issues? Surely he should know he's so much more than that.

"More like what isn't there to love? I always saw that despite your inner turmoil, you put those you love before yourself which with can be really fucking stupid"

He laughed looked away, knowing I was right.

"I knew I felt something but when I saw you freaking out about me when I was 'stuck in my head' after the John incident, I knew it was love. What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"What made you fall in love with a girl like me, a girl with so many problems?"

"When I broke up with Layla, most girls would've ignored me or bothered me about what was wrong. You however, just let me cry but stayed close so I knew you were there. That's when I fell in love"

We were both crying at this point, I knew it hit us that in all ways we were as fucked up as each other. That we were more than perfect for each other, two messed up goths with more issues than all the guests on Dr Phil combined.

"I love you"

"And I love you"

"No Gustav, i LOVE you"

"And i LOVE you Em"

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So far I had cleaned up three trash bags worth of red cups, unused drugs and mismatched pieces of clothing. It was three days after the party and I was still cleaning up, Gus on the other hand has been recording his new record 'Hellboy'

I've only heard three songs and they've been absolutely incredible, so much more passion than before. He's even dyed his hair pink again but I've stayed blue. It's just such a refreshing colour.

With the cleaning up done, I knew it was time for something I promised Gus we would do ages ago. It was going to be fucking brilliant, which one though? Red, pink or black? I know these were his favourite.

"Hey babe?"

"Yeah?"

"Pink, red or black?"

"Red"

"Okay, get your ass over here"

He ran over like a child when he saw the nail polish kit I had next to me. I'm not gonna lie, men who paint their nails are a huge turn on.

"Fingers or toes for red?"

"Fingers"

Gus ended up just having red on his fingers where I had hot pink on my fingers and toes. Relationship goals? I fucking think so, which other Male and female couple would paint each other's nails?

On of the main reasons I loved him, he didn't comply with any of society's rules. If Gus wanted his nails painted, he had them fucking painted. He just didn't care.

"So how do know Bex?"

"Bexey? One of my foster family's were in England and I met him at school there. We were best friends, inseparable almost"

"Awwwwww, did baby em have a crush on bexey?"

"Oh shush you"

"Emily and bexey sitting in a tree..."

"Stop it Gus"

"K I S S"

"Don't make me!"

"I N G!"

With the end of the horrible rhyme, I put a dollop of the coloured polish right on the end of his nose.

"Hahahahha!"

He did the same to me back.

Let's just say we didn't enjoy walking into town looking like weird dalmatians to get polish remover. It was hilarious none the less and it made me realise something.

I never wanted to part with this man.