castles → lil peep (completed)

Dying Out West

Chapter sixty seven

"Son of a bitch"

As my consciousness came to me, so did the extreme pain in my skull; even that was a big understatement. If someone where to tell me I was being beaten over the head with rocks, I would totally believe them; it hurt that bad.

"Miss, are you awake?"

I know she was just asking a question but it felt like she was screaming it at me; definitely not helping.

"Did you have to say that so loud?"

I opened my eyes and sat up, despite being in the hospital and being in a hospital bed I wasn't in a gown. The only thing that was new was a few bandaids and stitches scattered around my body.........

Where was Gus though?

"Even though the accident was bad, you got out with just a few cuts and a severe concussion which seems to have healed completely"

"The guy who was in the passenger seat, where is he?"

From how her mood totally dropped and eyes immediately looked away from mine, something told me it wasn't good. That scared the crap outta me.

"Nurse....where is he?"

"Follow me"

Getting off of the hospital bed I followed the nurse down the hall, but we didn't stop there. She took me into the elevator and up to floor 8; oh god no.

Floor 8 was the ICU.

"Room 315"

With that she took off leaving me with a spiral of thoughts and worries consuming me. The worst of the worst of them drove me to break into run as I became more convinced of what happened. I prayed I wasn't right.

"Oh my god"

When I reached the room I felt instant tears well up and the urge to throw up intensify. There Gus was, laying there looking half dead with gauzes covering his body and bandages wrapped around his torso .

I had done this to him.

Reaching for my phone with trembling hands I tried to decide who to call first, Goth in Denver, Bexey in London, Liza in Long Island and Horse was with GBC. That's when it hit me on who to call.

"What's up Lil Lady?"

"T......you need to come down to the hospital. It-it's Gus...I was driving and I freaked because.... and now he's in the ICU possibly in a coma and it's all my fault"

"I'm on my way"

Taking a seat on the all to familiar plastic chair, I gripped Gus' hand and laid my head down in her bed; letting tears fall.

This was all my fault.

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"Lil Lady?"

I slowly looked up at T who was standing in the doorway, darting his eyes between Gus and I through the tears that were welling up. As I got up he met me halfway and pulled me into an embrace, stroking my hair and letting me cry.

"What happened Lil Lady?"

"I-I-I.........I saw him and freaked out"

"Who's hi-"

"I should've told Gus before we left cause he wouldn't have let me drive"

"But Who's hi-"

"This is all my fault, if I had just told him everything we wouldn't be here and-"

"Em!.......Who's 'he'?"

"John"

"That's impossible, he's locked up isn't he?"

"Yeah but I'm seeing him everywhere.....I even saw him in the middle of the fucking road"

"And that's why you freaked out?"

"Yeah"

"Oh........"

Once again T pulled me into his arms as I broke down again as the reoccurring memory returned. I did this to my boyfriend.........

I did this to Gus

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