castles → lil peep (completed)

The Way I See Things

Chapter Thirteen

Show after show I could see the Gus I first met come to the surface. Of course he still did drugs, but he never had anymore than three Xanax pills a day and we always shared splifs.

It wasn't all happy though, Horse sadly had to drop out for a reason none of the boys would tell me. I missed him dearly but Gus and T always put a smile on my face. Not to mention I got to meet Yunggoth who's probably one of the coolest people I've ever met.

Him, Gus and T were like the dream team and it was so cute to see them all goofing around. They told me about this time where Gus spent $28 in Taco Bell and we all burst out laughing.

"Hey babe?"

"Yep?"

"Wanna go on a date later?"

A smile crept onto my face as I visualised the future date and squeezed his hand as a way of saying yes. Feelings flooded my stomach and worry set in. What would happen when tour ended? I knew he had another tour a few months after this one to celebrate his first proper album but what about me?

I don't want to leave him.

The four of us sat around the TV and big mouth or something played loudly; making T and Goth laugh but Gus was live-streaming and I was just staring out the window.

"Babe?......Em?"

"What?"

"You okay?"

"Yep, um......can I have a Xan?"

His eyebrows shot up and he had a very concerned look on his face. I don't blame him though, apart from weed I've been clean from everything else since that one night.

"What's going on to make you want a Xan?"

"Just some thoughts that I want to forget about for the time being"

He took my hand and led me to our bedroom and locked the door.

"I don't want you to become addicted, I don't want to drag you down"

"Gus you're not dragging me down, if anything you're lifting me up"

"Okay fine but you're only doing one"

"That's fine"

He handed me the pretty white pill and I swallowed it without hesitation. I could feel the effects taking control and all weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I missed this feeling.

Gus just sat on the bed waiting for me to say something. I wondered why he wasn't doing one with me? I started to giggle at him, I didn't know why though.

"Why aren't you doing one with me Gussie?"

"Because I want to stay sober so you can't do anything stupid"

"Awww you care about me!"

This time he couldn't help but laugh at my silliness. I skipped over and sat next to him, playing with his black and pink hair.

"You're cute"

"Not as cute as you are Em"

I literally danced into the living room, eyes the size of the moon, and threw myself on them.

"Heeeeyyyyyyy"

Peep stood Leaning against the door way with his arms folded and a smile plastered on his beautiful face. T and Goth tried not to laugh and looked to him for answers as to why I was laying on them and playing with T's dreads.

"Xanax"

That one word summed up all my weird behaviour and would be my excuse for all my decisions until the pill would wear off. A pot hole bounced me off of my friends and on the floor; landing on an unopened bag of Doritos, causing it to burst.

The carpeted floor and I became covered in Doritos but I just laid there laughing like a child. T and G both sat there while laughing their asses off while Peep helped me on my feet.

"Can I tell you a secret Gussie?"

He rolled his eyes playfully.

"What?"

I knew he was expecting me to whisper it in his ear but really my voice level never changed.

"You're so great at sex it makes me craaaazzzyy"

The boys on the couch had gone from laughing to absolutely choking and poor Gus was blushing so hard his face matched the pink side of his hair. I however emphasised the crazy part by falling back on the floor.

"Dude this girl is insane, you're lucky you got her before I did"

"Shut up Goth she's high off her ass"

"Intoxicated people tell no lies"

"Just help me sober her"

"No way dude this is too good"

Between their little quarrel I had crawled over to the fridge and began gulping down an already opened beer. If I was going to get fucked up, I was going to get fucked up hard.

/////////////////

*Gus' POV*

Goth and T were still choking with laughter over Em's 'confession' and I wasn't going to lie, if it was somebody else I would be to. But it wasn't.

"Come on just help me sober her up before she does something she regrets"

I went to pick her up off of the crumb covered floor when I realised she wasn't there. What. The. Fuck.

"Where the fuck did she go?"

I looked around and spotted Em trying to open a beer bottle with an empty one already beside her. Well great.

"No no you don't"

I took the bottle and placed it on the counter, what had gone through her mind to make her want to get this fucked up?

"Nooooooooowhyyyyyyyyy????"

Her voice has become so slurred that anything she said just kinds melted into one. Jesus Christ she reminded me of me. Let's hope she has that sober mind within her too.

"You need to sober up girlie"

"ButIdontwannaaaa"

"I know you don't but we have a date later"

I had managed to pick her up and lay her down on our bed but by the time I had turned around to get a bottle of water for her, she gripped my hand.

"Idontwanttorememeber"

This peaked my interest so I sat down next to her but still held Em's hand.

"What don't you want to remember baby?"

Despite her high and possibly drunken state she said the next thing clear as day.

"When the tour ends we'll never see each other again and I don't want to live without you"

Is that what all this has been about? Her being scared that we'll have to separate soon? I just held her as she slowly fell asleep in my arms; my cheerful mood taking a hit .

It saddened me that this is the way she saw things going for us.