castles → lil peep (completed)

Kisses In The Wind

Chapter twenty eight

*Gus' POV*

I've been watching her sleep to make sure she doesn't stop breathing, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Not with her like this. When I noticed Em begin to stir, it was like nothing happened. She just got up, kissed me on the forehead and left the room. The hell?

I followed her out to the kitchen where she was preparing what looked like a fry up. Did she not feel anything? I can't believe it, I just stood there with my jaw probably on the floor.

"Okay I'm sorry, you need to stop"

"What's wrong babe?"

"Don't you feel any different?"

"Why what happened last night? We probably fucked didn't we? God you must've really gone for it because I can't remember shit"

"No no you just almost died"

I heard the sound of the eggs hit the floor and ooze over the tiles. Em turned to face me slowly, still wearing the grey sweatpants and hellboy t-shirt from yesterday.

"What?"

"You almost died on the bathroom floor"

"H-how?"

"Well you said you wanted fresh air, this was at 11. You came crying your eyes out at 4, saying how you fuck everything up and just like that you collapsed with your eyes in the back of your head and foam coming out of your mouth"

Em didn't say anything just stared at the ground; trying to process everything I was saying.

"I had to shove your toothbrush down your throat to make you vomit, and you know what I saw? 36 pills and lean"

She sank to the floor in tears; not caring about the dropped eggs as it hit her that I was being serious. I went and sat by her, yeah I was mad but Em needed comfort. She snuggled into me as I wrapped my arms around her; all anger subsiding. What had this girl done to me?

"Never do that to me again okay?"

"I promise Gussie, I'm so so sorry"

"I know you are baby"

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It's been 6 weeks since that incident and Em's toothbrush has been forced down her throat 15 times, each time multicoloured pills would come up. I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault, was I not making her happy? Why wasn't she talking to me?

We were watching TV together, I say together when in fact we were on opposite sides of the couch. I was losing it, she's totally dropped off the deep end and I don't know why.

"What's up with you?"

"What do you mean Gustav?"

"Are you happy? Because you don't talk to me anymore. The only thing you do is stare out the window and try to kill yourself"

"I'm just dealing with some stuff okay? I'm going out"

She went to get up but as quick as I could I threw her over my shoulder and took her to our room. This was going to stop now. Right. Fucking. Now.

"Gustav put me down!"

So I did, on our bed and locked the door. I was going to find out what was wrong and I was going to do something about it. I'll be damed if I was going to let her die.

"We need to talk about you, something's destroying you and I need to know what"

"Why? So you can help? You need to learn that some times you can't help!"

"You're right but if I don't do something, the love of my life is going to die and that is not going to happen"

"What if that's what I want?"

"You want to die?"

"A part of me does, yes"

"Why?"

"Because I love you and I'm scared"

"Scared? Scared of what?"

"Think about it, you and Layla were perfect and then on tour you met me. What if that happens on this tour? What if you meet some girl and replace me?"

"Are you kidding me? You're irreplaceable!"

"Before we met, if you and Layla were to have this conversation, would you say the same thing?"

I couldn't say anything because she was right, and that scared me. It seemed she knew that too and looked at the floor. I could feel something but I prayed I was wrong.

"Maybe we should take a break from each other"

"What?"

"You heard me. We've been around each other for almost a year straight with no in between, we need space Gus. It won't be for long, I just need to leave for a bit"

"Please don't do this Em, I love you"

"And I love you but this needs to happen"

And with that she was gone in 20 minuets, I didn't know where she went or for exactly how long but I knew one thing for certain.

I've just lost my soulmate.

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A few notes I want to make :

1. I know the timeline is a bit messed up so forget what I said a few chapters ago about hellboy not being released yet
2. DO NOT KILL ME
3. There's gonna be a six month time skip because I don't want to write a sequel
4. Thank you so much for the love and support! Writing this has helped me so much so it's so nice to know it's helping some of you
5. This is how Gus and Em look after their 6 month break

Em

Gus