Secret Love Nest 2018

Washer

What's with this year and our things getting broken?

It's like a month won't end without us replacing one thing and another.

What?

There's the new bed, a new toaster, some new rags (Kuai and Kuangnu, that's all the explanation you will hear from me) and a new dvd player.

And now this...

So...the washer gave up on me the other day. It happened in the laundry room. It was spinning, I was humming happily as Qing promised to take me to tasty special dinner later on when suddenly...the washer emitted this weird noise and then it stopped.

I was gobsmacked.

Me: (staring at our washer) What is wrong with you?

It doesn't answer back. So I ran to Qing and tattled on him.

(Of course you ran to Baba. *sigh* Poor Baba)

I dragged him to the laundry room too.

Me: (gesturing at the washer) I don't know what happened, it just stopped. I asked what is wrong, it won't answer.

Qing: Of course it won't answer. If our washing machine answers you, we will have two huge problems, Dayu.

(We think you will have lots of problem. Not just two. But sure, go on)

Me: Why? What problems?

Qing: (scratching his temple) Oh boy you just didn't ask that.

Me: (punching his chest, not painfully, of course) What? Tell me. What will be our problems if our washer answered me?

Qing: One, we will need to go to a psychologist again. Why are you hearing electric appliances now? Second, if I heard it too, then it will mean the government is really bugging our appliances to listen in to people. Stalking all of us...

Me: (lips twisting) Is that it? I thought you will say because if the washer answers me then it will mean that there is a dead murdered soul trapped inside it. A vengeful soul that will do everything to get back to those who murdered him or her and will start by seducing the owners who bought it. Qing...I will not be seduced by a washer and I refuse to have a threesome with it. Nope. We do have a king size bed now but still...it's a bit bulky.

Qing stared and blinked at me like he is figuring out who he is and why he was born.

Qing: (turning to the washer because well...) Okay, what is wrong with it? Maybe the plug was loose.

We checked the plug, it's on the electric socket secured and tight.

Qing: (looking at me) Maybe someone chew the cord?

Me: (affronted) Why are you looking at me? I didn't chew the cord!

Qing: (shocked) Of course you didn't! (Sighing) I was thinking about rats and other vermin.

Me: (hugging Qing) Rats?! We have rats! Oh my God! Where are they? Kill them!

Qing: What?