Secret Love Nest 2018

Conversation

Loving Wang Qing really has its moments. Moments when I am so happy (when he buys me sweet treats and we travel together). Moments when I am so pissed (when Qing is looking for things using his mouth rather than his eyes). Moments when I got scared (him telling me that our toilet won't flush *don't ask*).

It has its moments. There are also moments when I want to kill the man. This whole diary is like a documentary of the reasons why I sometimes want to bury your Baba alive.

To counter that, it also has lots of moments when I feel loved (Qing holding me tight and refusing to let me go on one corner to hide and lick my pain alone).

Loving Qing has its moments, sure.

Then there's this...

Qing: It will just be for two days, Love.

Me: (frowning) You are leaving me at your parents' home for two days so you can go horseback riding and duck shooting with your friends and dogs?

Qing: (wincing guiltily) I could take you with me but you said you would rather stick your penis inside a beehive full of psychotic bees than flounder around some wet and grassy bog with rifles to shoot innocent ducks. (Pained look) Do me a favor, don't do that to your dick. I am quite fond of it.

Me: (outraged) Fond?! You love my dick!

Qing: (nodding) Sure. That's why never do your threat with the beehive and the psychotic bees.

(You want to dip your penis in beehive? Yikes!)

Yes. Yes I said that because for the life of me I cannot think of one good reason why someone would want to crawl on muddy bogs just to shoot some ducks.

Me: There are absolutely wonderful free range chickens you can buy flocked, cleaned and dressed in the supermarket, if you want to eat a bird. Why shoot it?

Qing: It's for recreation, Love.

Me: You will kill ducks for recreation? Are you a psycho?

Qing: (lost for words) I...what?

Me: (shrugging) I am worried. I am deeply worried now. Why will you kill a living creature for recreation? That's a way of a psychotic killer.

Qing: (sighing) I think you will have a different view if I say that what we will kill are cockroaches or snakes.

Me: (shivering) You should kill all cockroaches and snakes. They are abominations.

Qing: (eyebrow arching) They are living creatures.

Me: (hands on waist) What's your point?

Qing: (hugging me and kissing my temple) My point is, you hate the sound of gunshots, you hate playing with Kuai and Kuangnu and you hate horseback riding. You are also not enamored of my friends. Let's face it, if I take you with me, we will break up. (Leaning out to peer down at me) Do you want to break up?

Me: (pouting) No.

Qing: (smiling) Me too. I love you so much to break up with you. That's why I'd rather we spent two days apart than take you with me and watch you be miserable with the company of guns, dogs and my human friends. Does that sound right?