The Pointless Adventures Of Jace And Simon (COMPLETE)

Catfish

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING
CLARY POV
"FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME! NO!" I yell at Magnus And Izzy.
     "Clary please! Do it for the VIEWS!" Magnus whines.
      "Why don't you do this?! Also won't this be offensive?!" I ask.
      "No! It will uncover the truth! Now take some cute pics so we can put them on tinder!" Izzy says. I roll my eyes. Magnus and Izzy asked me if I would help them catfish a bunch of people for their YouTube video. I wouldn't be cat fishing them exactly. I would take pictures and then get into a fat suit so they would think I cat fished them, then we would see if they run away or pick a fight with me or something. I sigh and look at them.
     "Fine...but! You have to give me chocolate cake and pizza afterwards!" I say angrily.
      "YAY!" Magnus and Izzy cheer.

~ a few weeks later~
   I was sitting in the restaurant, waiting for my first date, the first one was a guy named Jordan. I sigh and look at his picture. He's cute. I then see Jordan looking around. I lift my hand up and wave. He looks at me and then sits down. "Hi! You must be Jordan," I say.
     "Yeah, i am...you're Clary?" He asks as he physically cringes.
     "Yup," I say.
      "So...uh...how old are your profile pictures?" Jordan asks.
      "Not that old, maybe...a few months ago," I say with a shrug. "It's funny because you look exactly like you're picture, like, I saw you and I was just like...I'm 99% sure that's him." I say with a smile.
      "I can't say the same," Jordan says. Jerk.
      "Oh, yeah, totally, i actually think it might be this new lipstick, it's really pretty don't you think?" I ask.
       "Not to be rude, but in your pictures you look a lot skinnier." Oh my god! Seriously?! I talked to this guy for weeks! And now he's gonna turn me down because I'm fat?!
     "Well, Hey! Different is good right?"
     "Sometimes," Jordan says.
       "I'm sorry? Are you ok?" I ask.
      "Yeah, no, I'm just a little agitated, you know when you expect something to be some way..."
       "Well, i mean, It's me, Clary, the girl you talked with for months," I say. 
       "Some people may see it like that, you know it's very upsetting, i wasted time and gas to come here," oh...my...god!  "I can't do this," Jordan says as he gets up to leave. Ok, fuck you too then.

~*~*~*~*
    I was waiting for the next guy to come. His name was Raphael. I saw him and stood up. "Hey," i say. Raphael comes and sits down.
     "Hey...you..uh.. look a little different than your pictures," He says.
      "Oh really?" I ask.
      "Yeah...you're kinda more....voluptuous," Raphael says. Another asshole! That I spent months talking to.
      "Maybe if I...Maybe if I just turn this way," I say as I turn myself to a profile pose.
      "Uh, Nope," he says.
     "No?" I laugh.
       "Are you...pregnant?" He asks.
      "Uh, no...I'm not pregnant," I say awkwardly.
       "I really don't appreciate people lying to me," Raphael says. He then gets up and walks away. Again?! Wow, that's depressing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*
    I wait for my next guy. His name is Sebastian. I wait for him, then I see him. "Hi!"
     "Hey," He asks.
     "Oh my god, you look SO much cuter in person," I say. He really does look cute.
       "Thank you," Sebastian says. "You actually look so much different than your picture," he says.
       "You know you're the first person to tell me that," I say.
      "Oh really?" He asks.
      "I've been trying out this new color," I say as I signal to my lips.
        "I've been on tinder...for about a month now, but, I don't know its not really my thing," Sebastian says.
        "Oh, so you're like a Match.Com kind of guy," I say.
       "Yeah, I'm not too sure about online dating anymore," he says.
      "Oh," my flipping angel, again! Dammit I actually liked this one!
      "Listen, i feel really bad about saying this, because I know you came out here, and I came out here...but...I'm actually married," Sebastian says, shocking me to silence.
      "Oh," so either he's a cheater...or he's lying just to get out of the date....both of those reason makes him an idiot and an asshole. He then gets up. "Thank you though," he says and then leaves.

~*~*~*~*~*~
     The next guy was a guy named Kyle. I sigh as I wait for him. He then comes and sits down across from me. "Hi!" I say.
     "Hello,"
    "So, you clicked on my profile for a reason," I say. "Tell me, what do you like most about me?" I ask.
      "Uh...I'm sorry, i need to use the restroom really quickly."
      "Yeah, It's over there," i say. Kyle then stands up and walks to the bathroom. I sigh and wait a while...i was actually getting hungry since none of the guys stayed long enough so that I could eat food. I sigh and look over at the camera.
     "It's been like 15 minutes...i don't think he's coming back," I say with a laugh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*
   This was the last one of the day. I'm starving, and my hopes are next to Stan in hell, that's how low they are. I look up and see a boy with blonde hair and tan skin. He was too hot to be real. He's going to be the worst of all of them. "Hi!" I say with a smile. "Are you Jace?" I ask. He nods and sits down.
      "Yeah, you're Clary?" He asks slowly. Here we go.
        "Yeah, I'm Clary," I say. He smiles a beautiful smile.
         "I hope you're not uncomfortable when I say this, but you're really pretty," he says. My breath catches as I look at him. Is he being serious?
       "Oh, uh, thanks," I say. He smiles back.
       "So, you wanna order something?" Jace asks.
        "Sure," i say. I know the menu by heart now, so I call over the waiter. "Can you give me the spaghetti and meatballs with a glass of lemonade?" I ask. The waiter nods.
       "I'll have the same," Jace says.  The waiter then leaves.
         "The spaghetti is kinda big, I mean, I'm starving, but-,"
       "I'm also starving, I could literally eat thirteen plate fulls of anything," Jace says.
        "Oh my god! Me too!" I say. He smiles at me. The plates then come in. We keep talking as we eat. Jace was so sweet, he didn't even mention my body, or my picture. He just kept joking and asking me questions like what my favorite food was, favorite singer, color.  "You know, you're a really nice guy Jace," I say with a smile.
      "You're a Really nice girl," I bite my lip as I blush.
        "You know...i want to ask you out....on a real date," I say. Jace looks at me confused. "I'm not really....this isn't my body...it's all just make up and a suit," I then point to the cameras. "This is a social experiment,"
      "Oh, wow, wait, so you're not really fat?" He asks. I giggle and shake my head.
       "No, i just wanted to tell you that you're the only guy that stayed, everyone else bailed," I say.
        "Really? That sucks," I laugh and nod.
      "One Of them told me they were married, and another told me he needed to go to the bathroom and then never came back," I say. Jace breaks into a laugh.
      "Well, they really missed out on an amazing person" Jace says. I blush crimson red.
      "Thank you,"
       "Just telling the truth....so, when's our next date?" He asks.