MUKE one shots ♡

• snuff •

here's an old one, written like two years ago.

warning: angst with a happy ending

in bold are the lyrics of the song Snuff by Slipknot

•••

Bury all your secrets in my skin.
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins.

Michael was depressed again and has shut everyone out. Even Luke. Michael once told Luke that when he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders he needs to be alone so his feelings wouldn't rub off on anyone. Luke thought that was stupid and that Michael was being selfish. He didn't understand that when he was sad Luke was sad too, he felt like he wasn't worthy of helping Michael. Luke always told Michael all of his secrets and doubts but Michael never did the same with Luke.

The air around me still feels like a cage.
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again.

Calum told Michael he was being unfair to Luke and that he should let Luke in and at least share his fears with him. Michael shouted how nobody loves him and even when he is the one having troubles all the others do is think of Luke's feelings. Luke heard that and cried even more. How could Michael think that Luke doesn't care about his well being when all he wants is for Michael to be happy. Michael apologized to Luke and again Luke said it was his fault and they hugged. But Michael still wanted to sleep alone and Luke wasn't sure that he loved him like Luke loved Michael.

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.

Michael was ignoring Luke for the past week, Luke was slowly losing it. He cried more and he wasn't sure how long he'll be able to live like this with Michael not loving him back. He decided to write Michael a letter before going back home so he could at least try to live without Michael.

My heart is just too dark to care.
I can't destroy what isn't there.

They yelled at him. Calum and Ashton were angry with him while Michael was still feeling depressed. But now he was angry too. Somehow Luke always managed to make everything revolve around him. It was like all Luke cared about was himself. All he had to do is wait a week or two so Michael would feel better and then they would go back to being hopelessly in love. Michael loved Luke but he felt like Luke didn't love him as much as he loved Luke.

Deliver me into my fate, if I'm alone I cannot hate.
I don't deserve to have you.
My smile was taken long ago, if I can change I hope I never know.

It's been two weeks since they've seen each other and neither was feeling any better. Michael's depression was slowly melting but with that came the realization that he pushed Luke away and that it was him who was behaving childishly. But now Luke was gone and it was too late, and with that realization came even more pain and sadness and Michael hoped that Luke would find someone better than him.

I still press your letters to my lips.
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss.

Michael finally got around to read Luke's letter. It was a song. Not their song but one of Michael's favorites. Luke explained to Michael that he'll always love him no matter what and that he'll always be there for Michael even if Michael doesn't want that. But he had to go so he could give Michael some space. Luke felt like he was suffocating him with his love and Michael cried for hours. He realized Luke was the best thing that ever happened to him and he managed to do one thing he didn't want to. Make Luke sad.