!Warning: self harm!
"Legilimens!"
Me finding my birth certificate, my mother screaming at me, Professor Snape and me talking about the dark lord...
Suddenly I was alone in my mind again.
"If you are able to stand the pressure, it will work," Professor Snape told me one hand on his table slightly bent over.
"However you have to keep your guard up at all time and your act has to be perfect for the dark lord to believe you. Not one slightly doubtable move. No matter what he tells you or requires. Not that I would mind, if he endet your annoying existence, but I would prefer to keep mine," He told me.
I already gave up on him ever being friendly to me. No one was and why would he be. Still I liked him he was brilliant and after all saved me.
"I agree," I respondent keeping a cool face.
"If that was all for today, I shall leave now. Professor McGonagall has assigned plenty of homework." It was only three more days until I would meat Voldemort. School kept me busy, ever since it started again. I just existed. My life rushed by and I just felt lost and empty.
"Be here tomorrow at eight pm sharp," my Professor coldly responded.
"I will," came back my cold awnser.
I turned and walked out of the door.
In my dormitor, I decided to write down my thoughts into my "I write down the things that make me dye inside" kind of book. I wouldn't exactly call it a diary but it had some similarities to one.
"I feel empty, lost and just sad.
Christine is gone. My family hates me and even Professor Snape would prefer seeing me die and he doesn't even care.
Why am I still alive? I just want it all to stop. I don't want to join the death eaters. I want Christine back and for goods sake would a bit love be too much to ask for? I guess it would. I don't deserve love. Maybe it should be that way. Maybe I will just die."
That was all I could write down. I felt so lost in this moment. The pain was too much. I went to the bathroom and grabbed the blade I had in my sponge bag. I knew this was stupid and wrong and I was not a little 14 year old cutting herself for attention... But sometimes it was just too much and I couldn't cope no more.
A/N: Do I see a Christmas special coming up? (well, would you like one?)
Please as always tell me your opinion and ideas and also vote, if you liked the chapter. It really means a lot.
Until tomorrow. 🙃
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Fanfiction(y/n) (y/l/n) is a seventeen-year-old, sixth-year student at Hogwarts. (one year above the golden trio) Being a muggle-born Slytherin, she ain't got many friends. As she is quite sarcastic, but still a great student, she wouldn't have any problems...
