All it takes is one person. (Snapexreader)

Chapter 25 ~Isn't it lovely?~

The atmosphere in the castle was extremely tense. Professor Snape got more and more bitter and I also assumed depressed. Professor Dumbledore seemed to somehow weaken each time I saw him. The blackness of his right hand's skin spread. It was 100% a curse how did no one else notice this. Was everyone freaking blind? Also, Draco Malfoy was behaving like a lunatic lately and he seemed so hurt?! He definitely had a mission that was just too much for him. I wasn't called to any death eater meetings anymore since I had probably proved my loyalty and was of no greater use at the time being.
I was isolated, lonely, and just done with my life but also worried about my potion master. I had always respected him but now I felt a true connection with him. He was broken and sad I could just tell... The way he reacted when I treated him nicely and when I looked after him when the dark lord tortured him, the way he helped me after I murdered my one and only friend... "Murderer!, " I heard my mother screaming in my head.
"Stop, " I mumbled it was more of begging than a demand.
"Please." I rested my head against the window I was sitting in front of.
Of course, I had joined the order of the Phoenix too, everything was out of my control.
I got up from the window seal and walked towards the bathroom. Yeah, my make up was still covering my deep, dark circles the best it could. Getting my cloak I decided to take a little walk through the castle. Since I couldn't sleep and didn't care about any dangers at this point.
I wandered around the corridors and ended up on the astronomy tower.
A cool wind caught my hair and I stared into the darkness surrounding Hogwarts.
My emotions washed over me. I just couldn't handle any of it no more so I made use of one of my healthy coping mechanism and turned a song on.

Tears had begun to stream down my face.
"Why?" I asked myself in a shaky quiet voice.

I carefully wiped away my tears. I tried to focus on something good. But was there anything good left? An image jumped into my head. The almost carrying look my professor gave me that dreadful night, the slight concern his voice held, ever just so slightly, but clearly noticeable. Even though he barely talked to me right now it sparked a bit of hope inside of my chest. Maybe he doesn't hate me that much. Who knows what he had been through... A sudden warmth formed inside of me and spread through my entire body. The wind caught onto me again and a wave of pure magic hit me. My fingertips started to tingle. And I raised my right hand upon my face.
"What the..."

A flame formed in my hand but didn't burn it in any way.
It felt like a huge amount of power and warmth flew through my body directly into my hand.
"How?"
The flame died down again. I was in total shock. What did just happen? Was my mind playing tricks on me What? just. freaking. happened? I examined my hand again... Nothing extraordinary... Was I going mad?
"Miss (y/l/n)" a dark voice came from behind me.
I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.
"Good evening Professor, " I softly muttered.
"You shouldn't be up here and especially not at this hour, " he coldly said.
"Why? Do you really hate me that much? Why did you save me then? Why didn't you just let me die and allow me to end all this? It's not like I would have blamed you!
And I know my life is probably nothing compared to yours! I know that you have been through a lot and I can only imagine the pain that lies within, the burden you carry every day, the things you had to do, and who am I to judge anyway? I am a monster and still, I stand here..."
My rage slipped and my voice got softer again.

(Atmosphere & The song I had in my mind when I thought about this conversation)

"...not even able to imagine what makes you act the way you do but I know it's not sheer coldness. But apparently, people are too stupid to realize that. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone chooses the wrong path somewhere in their life. The important thing is: What leads you to the path you choose? What made you do the wrong things and no matter how dark your past might be and no matter how bad your mistakes where you can always change for the better. It's not your past that defines you. It is who you are right now and here. No past mistake makes you a less valuable person. Not at all. To me, you actually are of great value. Not only did I always respect you I learned that you are indeed not a bad person. You saved my life and risk yours every day. You take torture upon you to serve the greater good. And only God knows what Dumbledore puts upon you, let alone the Malfoy boy's plans.
You'll probably turn even more distanced after I said this but I genuinely care about you, professor. You are the only person I can really trust right now.
And I know you don't want to hear any of this and won't make use of it anyway but if you ever need someone, call on me. Because even though I'm an insufferable student, we may actually have a lot in common," I ended my monologue expecting my profess to bark at me or give me a cold response telling me how stupid I was. I didn't even know where all of those words came from it had been like my emotions had gotten the best of me.
"If you knew anything about me you wouldn't talk like this, " he sounded bitter.
"I'm sure that if I knew more about you I would feel exactly the same. You saw me murder my only best friend. Coldblooded. How can you still think I would judge you? Even if none of this ever happened, who would I be to judge you?"
He looked deep into my eyes as if he tried to read my mind but yet I felt no spell used on me.
"You had no choice, don't be ridiculous (y/l/n), " he said returning to a more normal tone.
"Why does it always have to be like this? We actually communicate like normal human beings for a short period and then you suddenly remember that I actually am a nerve-wracking student... Well, I guess I should know my place, sir, " I chocked out the "sir". It felt unnatural and wrong after what I just told him. I walked passed his frozen figure.
"Miss (y/l/n)?" I stopped. Not turning around.
"Good night, " his voice was soft somehow hoarse. Like he actually meant what he said but couldn't express it right. I had to hold back a tear, then turned around to face him only to realize he had done the same.
"Good night, " I said in a soft tone looking into his pitch-black eyes.
To then finally, turn around and walk down the stairs heading towards my dormitory.

A/N: Sooooo, what do you think? Please tell me! Also, leave a vote if you liked the chapter.
Until next time. 🙃