All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 18

Van

London was crazy, but I loved the fast pace of life. I loved how the city was just as alive at night as it was in the day. It made me realise just how badly I wanted to get out of the small town we lived in. I could easily leave and never look back. It was a big, wide world out there.

We'd arrived two days ago to record some of our tracks. We probably had enough material to record three albums straight off, but I wasn't ready to commit to some of the songs until we'd been out there and played them for the fans. I wasn't making music to impress some big-shot producer. I wanted to make music that blew your socks off when you heard it live. If the lads were bouncing and the girls were screaming, that was the sort of validation I needed.

Everything was a lot smoother now we had management, and things were moving so fast. I kept having to pinch myself every once in a while to make sure this wasn't all a dream.

Things were not great with Alice, but after every bust-up I found myself going back to her. I hated how weak I was but I kept doing it nevertheless. A few drinks and there I was, back again. The irony was, she was more often than not the reason I'd been drinking in the first place.

I sat on the bed in the hotel room flicking through my phone whilst Alice got ready. We'd been invited to some fancy party by someone at the label that night. It wasn't really my scene but I wanted to make an impression and Alice was keen to go of course.

I'd stumbled over some fan blogs online dedicated to the band and it was pretty surreal seeing what fans were writing about us. "Hey listen to this! Van McCann is THE hottest man in the universe. What d'ya reckon to that then?"

Alice carefully applied a slick of lipstick and pouted at her reflection in the mirror before turning to me. "I think everyone wants a piece of my baby but he's all mine!" Then she blew me a kiss.

I chuckled to myself. "Nah, I'm not good-looking enough to be a heartthrob!"

There was a knock at the hotel room door, and Alice flung it open. Larry was standing there. "Alice! You look.... nice!" His gaze had slipped down to her cleavage but shot back up again and he looked awkwardly over to me.

I felt a flash of annoyance run through me. Not at my friend, but at Alice's choice of outfit again. Each one seemed skimpier than the last. I swear she would be out in her underwear soon. She turned to me with a little smile playing on her lips, she loved the attention she got from men. "You ready then Mr Heartthrob?"

"You're really wearing that?" I couldn't help myself.

The red dress she had on was pure lace at the top and was practically cut down to her belly button. It was floor length but with a slit up one side right up to to the top of her thigh.

She gave a petulant little pout. "What's wrong? Thought we were supposed to be making a good impression tonight? We might be meeting some important people."

"Yeah but you do realise that no one's gonna be looking at your face, don't you?"

I heard Larry snigger in the hallway.

Alice walked over and slipped both her hands into the back pocket of my jeans, pulling me to her and whispering in my ear. "They might look, but they can't touch. That's just for you later..."

She knew how to push my buttons, that was for sure. "Maybe we should just skip this party..."

"For fucks sake, I'm still standing here you know!" Came Larry's exasperated voice.

* * * * *

The party was taking place in a swanky hotel in the penthouse. We'd been picked up and driven there. This was a far cry from all piling into a van, or having to order taxis.