All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 35

Abby

Tonight was not turning out the way I expected. I was a mixture of emotions and didn't trust myself.

There was no mistaking the spark in Van's eyes when I'd caught him looking at me a few times that evening. And once he'd not even been discreet. He wanted me to know all right. I should have been flattered, and I was, but I was also wary.

What if the only reason he wanted me was because he couldn't have me? Some guys loved the thrill of the chase, and as soon as you gave in to them they lost interest. Maybe I was an easy target tonight. He probably thought all he needed to do was turn on the charm and I'd melt in his arms. Maybe he thought I'd be grateful after being treated so badly. I tried to push the thoughts away, but they lingered.

It would have been easier if I wasn't so drawn to him. If it had been just on a physical level it wouldn't have been a problem, I could spend the night with him, get it out of my system and move on. But the thought of taking things further with Van? I felt like I was standing on the top of a huge precipice. The view was beautiful alright, but if I fell I knew I would fall hard. And let's face it, no one ever fell so hard and walked away without getting hurt.

And what of Chris's threats? I didn't think I would be able to live with myself if he harmed Van. I checked my phone again. Still no calls or messages from him. Somehow the silence from him was even more terrifying than the harassment I'd expected. What was he up to now?

I listened to the sounds of running water coming from the bathroom and instantly felt heat rising in me as I pictured Van's body under the spray, slick with soap. If I slipped in there with him...

Stop it Abby!

I sighed, picking up my phone once again and actually calling Michelle this time. She answered after only two rings.

"Abs you okay?" Wherever she was it sounded loud. I guessed she was in the hotel bar.

"Hey, yeah I'm all good. I'm just in Van's room."

"Really? So are you two okay now?"

"Yeah, we're all good." I found myself smiling. "In fact he asked me to stay in his room tonight and I said yes."

"You're staying with Van tonight?" Michelle's voice was loud, and after she spoke I immediately heard jeering noises in the background.

"Is that the guys I can hear?" I said, embarrassed by what I could imagine was being said. I cringed inwardly.

Michelle was laughing. I heard her telling someone to shut up. "They're all drunk! Even Bob. Especially Bob!" I could hear more laughter down the line.

"Why don't you come down and have a drink or two... or three? Honestly the lads are on one. Larry's already had a bollocking for getting up on the bloody bar!"

I giggled to myself. Maybe we ought to head down there...

OH. MY. GOD.

The bathroom door opened and Van sauntered out, damp hair pushed back, his skin glistening and slightly pink from the heat of the shower. All he wore was a towel slung low on his hips and a little smile that told me that my thoughts were written all over my face as plain as day. I tried to compose myself.

"Abby...?" Michelle was trying to get my attention.

I felt flustered and knew I was blushing furiously. "Yeah... ummm... yeah we might... Anyway I'm gonna go!"

"Better get some clothes on..." Van said, and I could see him still smirking to himself as he made for his room.

I gulped my drink, feeling foolish at how transparent I was. The last thing I wanted was for Van to think I was fawning over him. I glanced over at his room only to see he'd not shut the door properly and it was open a good few inches. Oh my god, what was it with him? He was clearly an exhibitionist and was doing it on purpose.