All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 31

Abby

"Oh my god the whole place just went off!"

Michelle and I were sitting in a cafe in town, and she was rather enthusiastically filling me in on the Catfish gig she had attended the night before. I felt more than a pang of regret as I listened to her account, thinking back to my own night at Chris's house.

I'd arrived to hear him arguing with his mum, and the reason for their dispute was soon quite obvious as I'd taken in Chris's dishevelled appearance and the inch-long gash above his right eyebrow.

"Oh my god what happened, have you been fighting?" I'd exclaimed, stepping over to him and instantly being hit by the strong smell of alcohol.

Chris had shrugged off the hand I'd put on his shoulder, and when I looked down at his clenched fists I'd noted his bloody, grazed knuckles.

"Matt had some grief with someone but it's all good, I sorted it."

"Yeah it really looks like you sorted things," I'd said sarcastically. "Bloody hell Chris, what are you even doing hanging out with Matt again anyway? He's bad news."

"You don't get to choose my friends Abby," he'd growled, stepping over to me confrontationally.

Sheila had stepped in front of me, and despite her tiny stature, she may as well have been towering over Chris. His posture had immediately changed, his shoulders slumped and he'd seemed to visibly shrink. She had that kind of effect on him, instantly calming. The sort of effect I used to have, but not any more. I just seemed to make him angrier nowadays.

"Leave the poor girl alone Chris," Sheila had admonished him. "She's only bothered about you. We both are. And don't you think you ought to get someone to look at that cut above your eye? It looks nasty. You must have taken quite a hit."

Chris laughed then, and it sounded hollow and humourless. "I'm fine. But you should have seen the other guy. He'll be drinking his dinner through a straw for the next few weeks."

I felt my insides clench as I recalled the look on his face then, immediately thinking how Chris would react if he'd known about the evening I'd spent with Van. An image flashed through my head of Van lying broken and bruised on the floor and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. I had to keep Chris away from him at all costs.

"Abby?" Michelle's face swam into view. "There you go again, in that bloody dream world of yours again. You dreaming about Van again, huh?"

I shook my head, looking down at my cup of tea. "Anyone would think I was obsessed the way you go on!"

Michelle just shot me a look as if to say "well?"

I couldn't help myself, even the mention of his name had me grinning like an idiot. And to be honest it was a welcome relief for my mind to be on him rather than my current predicament.

"I still can't believe they're off to America in a week. It would have been good to see them before they go, but I guess that probably won't happen now."

"You do know they're playing in Manchester again the day before they fly out don't you? You should come. It'll be your last chance to see them for a few months."

As Michelle was talking I could visibly see her enthusiasm wane and a little frown appear. She looked down, stirring her latte. I reached over and touched her arm. "I bet Bob's going to be calling you every day while he's away. You'll be getting sick of the sound of his voice!"

Michelle looked up with a weak smile. "I don't know how I'm gonna cope Abs, I really don't. He's gonna be thousands of miles away, and all those hot American girls..."