All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 61

Abby

"I'm off to Mike's for the weekend then!" Eve was standing at the door, clutching her bag, ready to go but hesitating.

"You sure you're okay? You've been moping around with your head in the clouds again. What's up?" She eyed me suspiciously.

"I'm fine, honestly. You go, have a great time. Say hello to Mike from me."

"Okay, but do something please Abby, get out of the house. It's not healthy to be stuck in all weekend. Sure Sam would be up for taking you out somewhere."

"Hmm... maybe. He's going to see Catfish tonight though. They're playing some acoustic set in the city. Apparently Johnny's arranged with their manager for him to take some photos. Think I'm gonna give it a miss."

Eve's face crumpled at the mere mention of the band. "You should be out with your friends, not hiding away. That Van's got a lot to answer for!"

"It's fine, it's not because of him, I just don't feel like going out!" I said, willing her to leave, not wanting to hear her tearing Van to shreds again.

It was hard to stay mad with him when he was messaging me every day with his silly anecdotes and daft photos. But even though I could feel myself softening, I was still wary, not brave enough to see him again. Afraid that I'd be out of my depth if he was in front of me, hard to resist.

"Oh my god is that Chris's mum?" Eve had turned away to leave but she quickly whirled around, whispering under her breath.

I looked around, following her line of sight, a sinking feeling in my stomach as I saw the familiar figure walking in our direction, her eyes fixed on the doorway of our house, on me.

"What the fuck is she doing here!" Eve hissed, stepping in front of me, almost like she was trying to conceal me.

Sheila started up our driveway, head down now, and when she finally looked up her eyes were wary, her smile tentative, nervous and unsure.

"It's okay Eve," I said, stepping around her. But I didn't feel okay. A dark cloud of dread had descended on me. I'd pushed Chris so far to the back of my mind and now the feelings of fear came hurtling back, almost flooring me.

Sheila came to a stop a few feet from the door, and immediately starting wringing her hands nervously as she spoke.

"Hello Abby my love. I'm sure I'm one of the last people you want to see..."

"She doesn't want to see Chris if that's what you're here for!" Eve barked out, not letting her finish.

I felt sorry for Sheila. She was a victim herself, she'd endured years of abuse and survived, but far from the nightmare being over she now had to live with the knowledge that her son was following in his dad's footsteps.

"Eve..." I put a hand on her arm, gave her a look which implored her to back off, then I stepped out on to the driveway so I was right in front of Sheila.

"How... is he?"

Sheila's face seemed to fold, although I could see she was fighting her emotions. She nodded slowly. "He's... getting there. He's still living with his sister. He's getting help... with his drinking. But there's going to be a court case. We think he might be facing a sentence."

I heard Eve make a noise behind me, and I glanced round to see her standing with her arms folded, a look of angry triumph on her face at the prospect of Chris going to prison.

"Eve, why don't you go? I'll be fine," I said to her, noting the caution on Shelia's face.

"Why are you even here?" Eve's voice boomed out, causing Sheila to wince, her tiny frame seeming even smaller.