All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 23

Van

"Great party man!" One of my mates slapped me on the back as I held the door open, letting the last of the guests filter out.

I wearily shut the door and wandered back into the kitchen, slipping a cigarette from my packet and lighting up.

Bondy was perched on a stool at the breakfast bar, swaying slightly, still clutching a can. "Surprised to see you on your own at the end of the night!" He quipped.

I shrugged. "Maybe I'm having a break from women, focussing on the band..."

Bondy had taken a sip out of his can and he practically sprayed the contents of his mouth across the kitchen. "Yeah right!" He managed when he'd finished coughing and spluttering. "Let's see how long that lasts!"

I gave him the middle finger. "I mean it. Alice was fucking hard work! And I don't think having a girlfriend's gonna work with going on tour anyway. Too much hassle."

"Who said anything about a girlfriend?" Bondy raised his eyebrows. "Abby and Michelle's mate was all over you. What was her name again? You know the one..." He put his hands out in front of his chest, demonstrating Jenny's ample breasts.

I chuckled. "You mean Jenny? She was definitely up for it! She followed me upstairs, I practically had to fight her off!"

Bondy pulled a horrified expression. "What the hell man? She was fit as fuck! You turned her down?"

"She was doing my head in mate," I said. "Not a lot going on upstairs." I tapped my head.

Bondy drained his can and grabbed one of my cigarettes out of the pack I'd left on the side. He had an incredulous smile on his face, shaking his head as he spoke. "From where I was sitting it didn't look like she was too bothered about quality conversation!"

"I told you, I'm having a break!" I protested.

"Fucking hell, put a good word in for me next time then!" He laughed, then after a pause. "I tell you who I do quite like though?"

I knew exactly who he was talking about before he said the name. I felt my hackles rise instantly but tried to hide it.

"Abby..." he said her name slow, like he was talking about some exotic delicacy he was imagining devouring, and I suppose he was really.  "I don't know what it is about her but she is somethin' else."

"She's a nice girl..." I said casually.

Obviously Larry knew, but I don't know why I didn't want my other friends to know what Abby did to me. I think I was still trying to figure it out for myself. She was stunning and took my breath away but it was more than that. I wanted to know everything about her, where she'd come from, where her dreams took her, what made her smile... and I wanted to be the one who put that smile on her face.

We chatted for a bit, then Larry wandered into the kitchen for a smoke and after a while we all moved into the living room and flopped down on the sofas. I tried to concentrate on what was on the tele but it was just trash. My thoughts kept going to Abby, how her cheeks flushed whenever I made a cheeky remark. I loved it when she went all red like that, it reminded me of winding up the girls I had fancied at school, and to be honest this felt like being back at school with a crush on some unattainable girl. Except we weren't teenagers anymore.

I grabbed my phone, scrolling through to find the text conversation with Abby. Still no reply. I considered sending another but quickly disregarded the idea. What was I really hoping to achieve? She had a boyfriend after all. Whether he was a dickhead or not she was still with him. I should probably leave it. I'd end up either getting her into trouble or myself.