All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 15

Van

The drinks I'd had churned in my stomach and my head was starting to throb with the promise of a hangover before the night was even over.

As the lift started its ascent to the top floor I tried to play how the conversation would go with Alice, but I couldn't get Abby out of my mind.

Standing outside her hotel room just now, all I could think of was pushing her inside and pinning her up against the wall. I wanted to kiss and taste every inch of her.

Shit, what was I thinking? Here I was, about to potentially break up with my girlfriend and I was already thinking about fucking someone else.

But it wasn't just sex, something about her just made me want to take care of her. That bastard ex-boyfriend of hers had better not hurt her. I didn't know what she'd done but I could tell she was scared. I felt my fists clench involuntarily as I thought back to how roughly he'd grabbed her at my party.

As I stepped out of the lift I heard muted voices and sobs, and I rounded the corner to see Alice outside my room. One of her friends, Katie, was comforting her with an arm around her. Katie glared at me as I approached.

Alice raised her head and I took in her tear-streaked face, feeling instantly wracked with guilt about what I was planning to do.

"Where have you been?" Katie hissed at me.

The fucking cheek! "Who stormed out on who?" I shot back, then reached out for Alice, who practically flung herself into my arms.

The main living area of the suite was empty, well apart from a very inebriated Bondy who was slumped on the sofa, still wearing his trademark cap which was now perched at a ridiculous angle. "Hey kids, great party!" He slurred, holding up a can.

I chuckled to myself despite my predicament. If I was going to have a bad head tomorrow then Bondy was really going to pay for it. "Night mate!" I called as Alice and I headed for my room. Larry must have already called it a night.

I offered Alice a drink, spotting my bottle of scotch on the side. She nodded and I reached for a glass, but she grabbed the bottle from my hands and proceeded to swallow huge mouthfuls.

"Whoa, steady on!" I eased the bottle away and she staggered backwards until her legs hit the bed and she sat down, hard.

"So what you wanna talk about then?" She said, her voice slurred and unsteady. "Or shall we just go to bed?"

She was trying to give me a seductive look, not quite carrying it off in her drunken state. As I watched she slowly slipped the straps of her dress off her shoulders. I could see where this was headed.

"Don't you think we need to talk?" I paced up and down. "I mean there's something very wrong going on here. You storm off out my party last weekend accusing me of all sorts. And what about a few nights ago? I mean what the hell was that? You left me alone in Leeds for christ's sake!"

Alice had peeled the skintight dress down to her waist to reveal her bra but now she stopped, looking at me with a deeply hurt expression, her bottom lip quivering. "Have you had enough of me? Is that it?"

"What? Don't turn this around! I'm fed up chasing after you all the time. I've just about had it!"

Now the tears came again, big sobs that wracked her whole body. I sat on the bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her, hating to see her cry. "Don't leave me Van. Everyone leaves me!" She sobbed.

I held her tight and stroked her hair until she calmed a little. "Alice, I care about you I really do. But this, it's not healthy. All we do is fight. You don't trust me..."