All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 20

Abby

"Michelle I don't feel so good, maybe I should give this party a miss..."

"Oh no! I'm not leaving you here alone to mope around. Chris is out all day, you've got a free pass!"

"It's nothing to do with Chris..." I began to protest but stopped short when Eve swept into the kitchen with Jenny in tow.

"Abby, I've not seen you in ages!" Jenny shot over and gave me a tight hug. "Oh my god, you're wasting away! Look at you!"

She stepped back, looking me up and down. Eve stood beside her, looking at me in that disapproving way of hers.

"Leave the poor girl alone!" Michelle hooked an arm through mine, turning me towards the door. "Everyone got their swimmers?"

"Yeah!" Eve and Jenny chorused, Jenny producing the flimsiest bit of material from her tote bag, waving it around.

"Oh my god Jenny, is that dental floss?" Michelle exclaimed and we all burst out laughing.

"Well you know, I wanna make a good impression with these boys!"

"Lock up your sons!" Eve giggled. "Abby, you got yours?"

The thought of any of the lads seeing me in a bikini made me anxious. I knew I didn't have a particularly bad body, but I had zero confidence. "Nah, I think I'll give it a miss. You know me, can't stay in the sun too long! I end up like a lobster!"

"Still can't believe Van's actually bought a jacuzzi," Michelle sniggered as we all piled into Eve's car. "It's the first decent money they've made from the band. You'd think he'd get himself a car or something useful!"

It was a gorgeous day with the sky a beautiful azure colour and not a cloud in sight. I wore a pretty, strappy, silk cami top and a pair of denim cut-offs. I would have been feeling pretty good if I could have shaken off the niggly dread feeling that crept over me every time I pictured Chris's outburst from a few weeks back. I felt a slight chill run through me despite the warm sun beating down on me.

Larry answered the door with a huge grin on his face, and Michelle did the introductions as we stepped through. He urged us to all go through to the back garden. There were quite a few people in the kitchen, and even more in the garden, most of whom I didn't recognise. I started to faintly panic in case someone here knew Chris and reported back to him. I stayed behind the girls to scope out the other guests whilst Johnny, Benji and Bob came over to greet us.

There were hugs all round but I hung back, until I heard Johnny calling me. "Abby, what you doing hiding back there? Where's my hug?"

I stepped forward and Johnny gave me a huge bear hug, then as the introductions were happening he let his arm linger over my shoulder.

"Hey girls!" Came a voice from behind and I whirled around, my breath catching in my throat. Van was wearing his black skinny jeans despite the heat of the day, and a crisp white shirt which he wore tucked in. My god he looked breathtaking. He greeted everyone in turn, then took off his sunglasses as he turned to me. Those eyes. Holding his gaze was impossible, I could feel my cheeks start to burn as I mumbled hello. Would I ever just be able to act natural around him?

I was thankful when the attention turned to Bob, with everyone wishing him a happy birthday. Larry announced he was going to the kitchen to mix some cocktails, so I offered to help him. I felt awkward standing there so close to Van, trying to think of some way to strike up a conversation.

Once in the kitchen, Larry set about making mojitos so I started chopping up some limes and picking mint leaves whilst we chatted about the band's trip to London.