All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 22

Abby

My heart was hammering as I made my way quickly down the stairs. I was trying to ignore the tight knot of jealousy that I felt in my throat. What was I expecting? I realised how I'd been harbouring some kind of hope that Van had feelings for me which was completely ridiculous.

Eve was waiting outside for me so I plastered a fake smile on my face. "Well mystery solved anyway! I found Jenny!"

"And your phone?"

"My phone?" I was confused for a second, completely thrown by what I had seen. "Oh yeah right..." I dug into the pocket of my soggy shorts and was relieved to see that it still seemed to be working.

"Thank god for that!" Eve said. "So where's Jenny?"

"She's.... well I guess you could say she's pulled. I just walked in on her and Van upstairs." I tried to sound like I was enjoying sharing the gossip but the words stung.

"No way!" Eve's mouth dropped open. "That's moving quick even by Jenny's standards! I guess I'm not surprised though. I'm sure he gets around a bit."

What? I narrowed my eyes, feeling defensive of Van. "Actually he's just come out of a relationship. His girlfriend cheated on him."

"Hmm... probably not the faithful type himself either I'd say. He's definitely a player."

I bristled at this. She didn't even know him.

You don't know him either Abby, not really.

"Why are you pulling that face?" Eve continued. "Did you hear what Bondy was saying about those fans when they first started touring? And how about him flirting with you and then taking Jenny upstairs?"

"He wasn't flirting with me!" I protested, feeling my cheeks warm at the thought. And what about the fans? I was filled with both curiosity and wilful ignorance at the same time.
"Anyway, enough about Van. Think I'll head back you with if you're going, I'm feeling pretty tired if I'm honest."

The party didn't hold the same appeal it had to me 15 minutes before, and to be honest it never should have in that way. This just showed me that I needed to stay away from Van. Eve was probably right too.

I went off to find Michelle and say goodbye, and despite her begging me to stay I returned back to Eve, ready to go. With a bit of luck we could slip out the door before Van and Jenny even came up for air. Images of her entwined around him danced through my mind and I pushed them away, trying instead to feel happy about seeing Chris later that day. But that was the thing, thinking about Chris never made me feel happy these days.

Eve had one hand on the doorknob when I heard footsteps on the stairs and Jenny calling our names. Crap! Here was Jenny, bounding down the stairs, with Van following her. I was expecting to see him zipping up his flies or buttoning his shirt or something, but he looked fine. Pretty damn perfect in fact.

"You guys aren't going without me are you?" Jenny said brightly. I noted her lipstick looked intact but she had probably re-applied it.

"Heard you were busy," Eve's tone was dripping with sarcasm. I knew she disapproved of Jenny's blasé approach to hooking up with guys she'd just met. On this occasion I agreed.

Jenny ignored the comment which was the usual response. "Gotta get changed first. Where did I leave my stuff? Can you remember Eve?"

I glanced at Van and his eyes were fixed on me. I thought he looked slightly sheepish but I was probably imagining things.

"You're not going already are you?" He said.

"Yeah, I'm a bit tired..." I started, suddenly distracted by Eve and Jenny bickering about where Jenny had left her clothes. They started off down the corridor, still squabbling, leaving Van and I alone. Great.