All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 58

Abby

"You sure you're alright love?" Sam shouted over the blaring music.

I got rammed into yet again by one of a young group of lads who kept forming a mosh pit, pushing and shoving. I tried to stand my ground but being small and light I was being tossed around like a little boat in stormy seas. Sam grabbed me and put a protective arm around me for what seemed like the hundredth time but I shrugged him off, bouncing away and jumping to the music as the chorus erupted.

"Stop fussing, I'm fine!" I shouted back.

Just then one of the group of lads forcefully pushed one of his friends and he staggered forwards, up-ending his lager all down my front.

"Fuckin' watch it!" Sam cried out, bringing his face close to the culprit. The young lad backed away, hands up.

I felt Sam grab my hand and lead me through the crowd and I let him. We came to a stop near the bar.

"They look like they're off their heads!" He said angrily. "You ok? Ah no, you're soaked through!"

He indicated my drenched top but I just brushed myself down. "I'm fine honestly! And you don't have to worry about me all the time you know!"

Sam shrugged. "I know but it's dead rough. Don't want ya getting hurt. I'll get us a drink."

I excused myself to use the toilet and checked my phone whilst I was there. I had a few messages from Michelle who was disgruntled that I'd disappeared without saying goodbye so I sent a grovelling apology. I felt mad with myself for running away, but I felt so disappointed and hurt that Van hadn't even given me a chance. If that was the impulsive way he dealt with things then I didn't want to risk getting into anything with him. Seeing him again had really knocked me for six. I would just have to make sure I avoided him now he was back.

I checked my reflection in the grimy mirror and was just about to head back out, when my phone rang, startling me.

Van's name flashed up on the screen. Fuck! I stared at the screen, not knowing what to do. This was ridiculous. He was certainly persistent and I knew I couldn't avoid him forever but nevertheless I let the call ring out.

I cursed and shoved my phone angrily back into my bag. I'd spent weeks trying to get over him and now he was back within a couple of hours of seeing him I could feel myself unravelling. I pushed through the door and made a beeline for Sam, taking the shot glass he offered and knocking back the contents. Tequila! I didn't care.

"You want another?" I shouted over to Sam, turning to the bartender before he'd even had chance to respond.

Sam had a grin on his face as I knocked back my second shot, grimacing and shuddering. "You're on one tonight!"

"Too right!" I laughed back, grabbing his hand and leading him back into the crowd where we immediately started to dance and sing at the tops of our lungs. I was determined not to let Van bring me down.

* * * * *

We stumbled out into the street after the gig, on a high from the atmosphere. Sam grabbed hold of my hand and twirled me around and I fell against him, giggling.

"That was amazing, my ears are fucked though, canny hear a thing!" He scrunched up his face whilst rubbing his ears like that would magically fix them.

"God yeah, it was so loud," I agreed. "But we were right up near that speaker at the end. And that guitar solo...!"

Sam was wearing an amazed expression. "Fuck yeah! That was pretty special!"