All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 83

Van

"Van! Larry! Over here!"

I picked up my pint from the bar and turned to see Bob raising his hand up, beckoning us over from across the pub. Johnny was sitting next to him and as we took our seats he leant over to me with a huge smirk on his face.

"So... I hear congratulations are in order!"

"Bloody hell news travels fast round 'ere!" I grinned back at him.

"Made up for ya mate." Johnny outstretched the hand holding his pint glass and he clinked it against mine.

Bob raised his glass up with a small smile and a nod. The grin that broke out on my face was so wide it must have split my face in two. I felt giddy before I'd even taken a sip of my beer. If this was love then I didn't ever want to get off this ride.

"He's been like this since he got home this morning," Larry said, shaking his head like he was exasperated with me but the grin that snuck on to his lips gave him away. "Bloody soppy bugger. Watch out lads, this album's gonna be full of slushy love songs if he has his way!"

"Hey!" I protested, chuckling. "Got eleven songs sorted... I think..."

"Right, let's see," Johnny said. "Homesick to start I'm guessing?"

I nodded and he went on, counting off the song names on his fingers.

"Kathleen, Cocoon, Fallout, Pacifier, ASA..."

"No fucking way!" Larry cut in. "I've never liked that song."

Johnny just raised his eyebrows at me and carried on. "Business, 26, Rango, Sidewinder... and we HAVE to finish on Tyrants. We owe it to the fans that have been to the shows since day one."

I nodded in agreement again.

"Hold on," Bob chipped in. "That's only ten if we don't include ASA..." He shot Larry a look of annoyance. Larry just shrugged.

I wasn't sure whether ASA would make the cut and I'd thought about a contingency. I wanted one more song dedicated fully to Abby. Only I didn't want this one to be about yearning for her like the others were. I wanted this to be a song about us being together.

"I'm gonna write an acoustic track," I told them. "I've got a few lines in mind already. Got a basic melody. I'm sure the rest will come to me quickly."

"Well you'd better hurry up," Bob said. "We're off to Oz in a few weeks remember. Then it's straight into the studio when we get back."

"You thought of a name for the album yet anyway Van?" Johnny sat forward.

"Yeah... The Balcony..."

Johnny's brows knitted together and Bob looked deep in thought. Larry was the only one who knew my reasoning. I didn't want to share it with them yet though. I wanted to tell Abby first. The thought had come to me when I'd dropped her off that morning.

This album was going to change everything. It was going to be the springboard for the band's career. The catalyst. A little bomb going off in the music industry to make people stop and say "who's making all that racket?"

It was going to be life changing for us. For me. Just like Abby was. That's why I needed the title to mean something.

Everyone has a picture in their head when they think of a balcony. To me it conjured up several images. Abby standing there beautiful and vulnerable on the hotel balcony in Manchester when she'd ran from Chris. The balcony in my New York hotel room where I'd sat and smoked and wrote songs about her, wondering if she ever looked at the sun setting thousands of miles away, thinking of me. My balcony on my parents' roof where this whole dream of mine had started. And of course that was where Abby had taken a chance on me again. It was perfect.