All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 51

AN: So... I had a whole side-story planned out but now I've started writing it I hate it and need to re-write! 😬
Going to bring the lads back from tour a bit earlier instead!! Two months was definitely too long! I'll be slightly tweaking some older chapters just to change this...

Abby

"Who keeps messaging you? Your phone's been going crazy all morning." Eve commented.

"It's Sam," I told her. "He's thanking me for saving him from a bollocking last night! He reckons he owes me one!"

Eve broke out into a grin. "What are you like? Poor Mike didn't suspect a thing!"

We laughed, but then Eve's grin faded a little and she looked annoyed. "I'm still furious about Marco hitting on you, the sleazy bastard. Mike's going to hit the roof!"

"It's okay, I mean it wasn't pleasant but no harm done. And I actually quite enjoyed the party despite that in the end."

Eve raised her eyebrows. "Hmm... why am I not surprised that I invite you to a party and instead of mingling with Mike's friends you end up sneaking off to smoke weed with his baby brother! Honestly I despair of you sometimes! But it's good to see you smiling again."

* * * * *

Michelle and I met up for lunch later that day at the tapas restaurant in town.

"I remember last time we were in here," Michelle said, perusing the menu. "You hardly ate a thing."

My thoughts went to that night which was only a few months back but seemed a lot longer ago. "I was in a bad place then. So much has happened since."

"I was so worried when I saw those bruises on your arms. It WAS Chris, wasn't it?"

I winced at the memory. "Yeah... it was. I'm so sorry I never came clean Michelle. I used to hide everything."

Michelle reached out and put a gentle hand on my arm from across the table. "You have nothing to apologise for. I shouldn't have brought it up, look... you're all sad now. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, honestly. I can talk about it now without getting upset."

It was true and it surprised me. I'd spent nearly a year with Chris but I didn't mourn for any of the times we'd spent together, even the times before the dark clouds had descended on our relationship. In contrast the searing pain in my heart that ripped through me whenever I thought about Van was so intense, so visceral, that it left me breathless. It was crazy really.

Michelle was watching me. "You DO look upset though Abs... you don't have to pretend with me you know."

"I'm not thinking about Chris..." I looked down.

"Oh... Van..." Understanding crept into Michelle's eyes. "I don't suppose he's been in touch with you has he?"

"Of course he's not," I said bitterly. "Why would he be thinking about me with all those American girls to distract him? I'm sure he's having the time of his life."

Michelle pulled a face. "I'm so disappointed in him."

We were quiet for a moment, scanning the menus, as my phone bleeped several times in quick succession.

"You're in demand!" Michelle commented.

Sam: Been wondering how I can repay you...

Sam: Maybe you'd let me buy you a drink?

Sam: There's this little bar that's just opened up in town...

I broke out into a grin, looking at Michelle who was eyeing my phone with interest.