All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 80

AN: I'm really not happy with this chapter but I wanted to update today and I've already re-written it a few times! Sorry if it's shit! 🙈

Van

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

My voice cracked with emotion as I sang the last line, watching Abby's reaction as she tried to hold it together. A solitary tear tracked down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away, but she was smiling through her tears. A beautiful, sad, doe-eyed angel under the now dark but star-lit sky.

She couldn't take her eyes off me. Along with the tears, something else pooled there. Something that I was sure was reflected back in my eyes. We both sat for a long moment, until Abby finally spoke.

"That was beautiful."

I was aching for her so bad it was a physical sensation. It took me all my restraint not to reach for her. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold off, but without warning Abby suddenly pushed herself up on to her knees and she reached for me. Her hands closed around the collar of my shirt and she leaned forward, pausing only inches from me.

"You're beautiful," she whispered, and then before I had a chance to draw a breath her lips pressed against mine.

The feeling of her mouth meeting mine was like some kind of release. She clamboured on to my lap, my guitar falling to the side, and I responded hungrily, my head spinning, my hands going to her waist, pulling her in as close as I could.

She filled my senses completely and for a moment I was lost, cast adrift on the relief of finally connecting with her, the growing tension I'd felt all day coming to a head as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed even closer to me still.

My head told me to stop, but my body acted instinctively, rising up on to my knees still holding her, pushing her back up against the brickwork. I heard her gasp as I pressed myself against her and the sound fuelled my want all the more. I pulled away breathlessly.

"We should stop..."

"I don't think I want to."

"Abby..." I started, feeling caution clouding my need.

"It's okay Van. I want this." Then she paused, smiling and glancing around. "Please can we get off this bloody roof though."

I laughed then. "Hey, you're privileged being up here you know! Never brought any other girl out here to my balcony!"

I was on my feet in a second, holding her steady as she navigated the narrow ledge beneath the window, helping her to boost herself up and through to the safety of my room. I did the same and we came to a stop in front of the window, looking at each other, the tension between us simmering in the air once again.

Abby stepped even closer. "I don't think I wanna take it slow anymore."

She reached for me again, her fingers going to the buttons on my shirt, unfastening each one deftly. I just stood there frozen, feeling like if I made a move it might break the spell. She wanted me. Tonight. Right now.

She inhaled sharply as she pushed my shirt back from my shoulders, her eyes going to the purplish blooms of bruising that still marked my body.

"Oh... Van..." she breathed, her fingertips dancing gently over my injuries.

"It's okay... it doesn't hurt anymore... much..."

I watched as she bent her head down, her lips trailing over my chest where her hands had been. Her lips ghosted lightly over every bruise, every little imperfection, leaving me shivered with desire in their wake. As she got lower she sank to her knees, her fingers starting to unbuckle my belt. I raked my hands through her hair as she began to tug my jeans down. My heart was hammering in my chest, my breathing already deep before she'd even touched me.