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25. February 2019.

I'm surviving these couple of days as a twenty-seven-year-old, I feel better now. These days I have been enjoying with him, I am still scared but we'll see what's next for us.

I feel like we know each other for a long time and how our conversations are important open and real and how... I don't know, just thinking about those moments with him my heart feels warm. Will is so different, so unique that I believe that he doesn't know. You can tell me the same thing and I wouldn't believe you. Someone told me something beautiful that it made me speechless. This guy told me that I am something special and it made me feel like I truly am but I wasn't sure. It felt good but also I felt like crying because that something I did not expect to hear from anyone but him, I want to hear something like that from Will, I want to hear how much I mean to him because I know that I do but he's just not showing it. On many occasions, I showed him how much he means to me and I hope that he knows that.

I texted him yesterday. I love it when we do cute texts and when we both put those smiley faces it just makes my heart melt. Later that day I texted him again because he didn't text me back to see at what time should we have the massage, I was checking up on him. "I hope you didn't forget about me." And I also send that cute smiley emoji. "I didn't." He sent one too.

This morning I had a dream about him, about us. It was romantic, there were cuddling and hospitals, I told him partially my dream, I couldn't tell him everything. He wanted to know, he wanted to analyze the dream but I told him that I don't remember it, I didn't want him to realize it this way. I want to tell him myself but I still don't know how. He likes analyzing dreams and I love listening to him, I love seeing the way he works, the way his brain works, it's fascinating. I also find it fascinating that normal male reaction when it comes to girls and arousal.