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27. February 2019.

 Twenty – eight years of a human life... that's a big deal. The problem that I have is that I keep comparing my life with the lives of celebrities like Rihanna and Taylor Swift. They are close to my age and I can't believe how much they accomplished. I know that I am not supposed to do that but I do sometimes. I am twenty – eight and I haven't accomplished much. I have two degrees, yes, that is amazing and great but where did that take me, nowhere. I am at square one. This is big but I'm still waiting for that moment when I get to say 'I finally got where I always wanted, this is what I have been waiting for all my life.' It's ok, I know that my moment will come, I'm just a little bit impatient. I'm just tired of waiting for something that I'm not even sure it will come. I have a small piece of hope.

He forgot my birthday, it's fine. I gave him a hint that I made a fruit cake but he just said how he's more of a chocolate cake guy. I am too but good to know. Today I wanted to ask him out for my birthday but it didn't go well because guess what, we weren't alone. Classic. I needed to do that, I was ready to do so but no. I just wanted to treat him for my birthday, I just can't catch a break. I wanted to spend my birthday with my friend but oh well. I don't bite at least not my friends. I'm having a coffee now and now I'm shaking. Is it because of the coffee or the fact that I just sent him a text? I'm not nervous but this is telling me otherwise. He is just a friend who occasionally I look in a different way which is fine. Today he wore that white tight shirt that brings out his best features. He had turned the back to me and all of a sudden it was like I had an x-ray vision. I saw his back, I saw his nude back, it is so sexy. I love seeing his back but I also love his front especially when I see it while he's walking towards me. Somehow I initiated the conversation, I have no clue with what. Anyway, I was listening to the story he was telling me, how when he goes with a friend to the bar he always ends up late until four in the morning. How the story was going I had a feeling it would end it like that. A minute later I grabbed my opportunity to ask. "Tell me that you've watched Glass." "Oh, I didn't." "I saw it yesterday at the movies, it's so good." "You have?" "Yea, it's still on." "Tell me everything." "I can't tell you everything, I don't want to spoil it for you." "Is Bruce Willis there?" He asked with excitement in his eyes. "Yes, they all are, all three of them." "No way, I thought he was just guest starring." "Oh, no. They are all there, even that girl from Split, I just didn't like the ending." "What did they do? Did they screw up?" "You gotta see it, I don't want to spoil it for you."

I am still waiting for the response. I texted him because I haven't had alone time to ask him in person. "I forgot to ask you something" "Ask away" he replied and then I sent this "Today is my birthday and I want to treat you, let's go for pancakes. If you have the time today if not we can do it sometime this week." I turned my phone away so I wouldn't see the rejection right away but then I got two texts. 'I'm dead now' I thought to myself. I prepared for the worst and I turn around my phone. "Oh, happy birthday, I forgot... if not this week then next, sure." Oh my Lord, I am so relieved. I am super happy and excited. It's not a date I know that I'll take anything just as long as I am with him. "No worries, thank you."