Take a look inside

22. April 2019.

 After these past four days, I concluded that I miss him. I was having a hard time, I felt like I've been tortured and that I needed my knight in the shining armor to come and save me. I had the worst trip ever but I did buy some nice stuff, I'm not complaining about that. I met my sister at the train station and I recognized her from a very big distance, she's penetrative, she's tall so I can spot her anywhere we go. She's that girl with gorgeous long, blonde hair. I love it when she makes a bun on the very top of her head, it just suites her. She's my pride and joy. Anyway, the car trip was terrible. Seven hours of driving, I know I didn't drive but still, I can't stand sitting for so long because my back hurts like hell. We did make stops to rest but it's not the same. When I got to Venice I was cranky because of my back pain but that was nothing comparing to trip back. My back hurt like... I don't know how to explain it but I felt like I was going to die. I am serious. I let a tear down because of the pain I had to put up with. I barely put up with the pain, it was seriously unbearable. I told myself to never, ever, never go on a trip by a car, I can pay for the plane ticket and I'll travel like a queen.

I couldn't wait to go training, I am so pumped up and I want to do exercises but there was this other reason, I was excited to see Will of course. Well, he is the reason that I keep training so yes, I can't wait to see him. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him and how much I was thinking about him but... I don't think it's appropriate. I wanted to tell him that next time I plan a trip to Italy that he is coming with me. That would be the bold move but still not sure if that's a smart move to make. I wanted to talk to him but surprise, surprise, we weren't alone. I know that he's forgetful, I am too but when it comes to important things like these then I lock it in my mind, safe in the safe. I can be myself around him but the only thing that scares me is crying in front of him. I'm just scared for him to see me vulnerable, I kinda don't want to but when I do he'll see how fragile I am.

Will approached me with a smile on his face and he was talking gibberish on Italian, it was hilarious but it made my brain freeze and my face so weird, I know, I felt it. Later on, he was acting mad at me because I didn't find his sneakers and when I told him how much I paid for mine, which was super cheap, it was some kind of a super sale at Nike's, he was mad and he told me to face the wall for punishment. We were just messing around and he was super cute and childish, I love it, I love this side of his, it's sweet.