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3. July 2019.

 These days it is harder to work out because of the heat, it's tiring.

I saw Will coming but, the thing is what he was wearing. He is wearing jeans on plus something, I would boil in those pants. He changed for training but... but... I don't know what to say. He was wearing shorts and a grey shirt and for some reason, it made an impact on me. It was an ordinary shirt that outlines the shape of his body where you can see practically everything. It wasn't tight like that white shirt from before, it was ordinary but I could've seen everything, it was hard for me to look at him but it was even harder not to look. He was looking ordinary, the shorts that he was wearing it was nothing special but yet hypnotizing for me. Nice legs, even though they are really thin but good. Those shorts have, was, did, ... not sure what I wanted to say. His ass is so good but not that good as his biceps and his chest... I don't know what happened to me. He looked so good, I looked at him up and down and I felt like my body temperature has risen all of the sudden, I felt the urge to... I don't think I should finish this sentence so I'm going to stop but nothing has stopped me before from saying it, this time I'll just keep it to myself. He was just there, next to me and I felt so powerless, so vulnerable and weak. My mind went to... it's not a blank space but it was, I don't know, I have no idea what that was. I felt so drawn to him I didn't know what hit me. I was smiling because it is so crazy feeling like this, this is insane! I can't feel like this! Can I? No! I am barely holding it together because I don't need a splash of emotions right now, I can't deal with this right now. He caught my smile and he smiled back. Damn, he was so close but yet so far away. I just wanted to touch his hand, his masculine arm, his sexy back, damn I need to chill. I still feel hot, I still feel drawn to him, what kind of sorcery is this? I just wanted to be in his arms, is that too much to ask? I want to hug him, I missed him so much. Two weeks. Two weeks! Thank goodness it hasn't been a month or I'll be running into his arms. I just want HIM, I know that I'm like a broken record. Maybe I should just stop writing? If I'm going to talk about the same thing I should just stop.

I noticed something but I'm not sure if it's true, I hope it is, this is just my theory. We were done with training and so he said bye to her and then to me with those handshakes or whatever it is, he kept talking and after a minute or so he was reaching to me again and then again at the very last minute before we left. My theory is that I think he also missed me a lot and this is his way of showing it... I can't believe how much we are shy about our emotions. I want to say to him 'Hey, I missed you and I could use a hug' but I can't do that, I feel like it's a weird thing to say, I don't know but I do know that I need that hug and I hope that I will get it soon. Oh, before training today, he came up to me and said "How are you? Are you ok?" "I'm good." I said that I was good even so that wasn't true. I don't like not telling him the truth but... ugh. Is he concerned about me or is that something that he usually asks. I know I analyze things way too much but I just can't help it.