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12. June 2019.

 So many emotions that I don't know where to begin.

Today Will has been so tired that I saw it on his face and I respected that so I wasn't being sassy or talkative, I didn't want to put salt on the wound. I know that he saw how I'm respecting him and how I am not being pushy. I know that he knows that I am understanding when it comes to moments like these because he also respects me and when I'm not in the mood he leaves me be, he doesn't bother me with unnecessary talk. Oh, how much I love the way we understand and respect each other. After this short training that I had, I came to him, he was laying on the mat watching something on his phone. "What are you watching?" I started one of our best moments with this question. I was standing next to Will thinking that if I stand long enough that he would get up. I was listening to what he was talking and so I asked him a couple of questions, as he was answering them I found myself squatting next to him. I was there and I was listening. He was telling me something that was bothering him and as he talked and I was asking him questions, I found myself sitting next to him holding my bottle of water in my hand. Will was telling me stuff that was on his mind, things that bother him and he kept telling me about this thing and I was listening and I was just being there. I love how I can be of help somehow, anyhow, finally, I'm not useless. I suggested something that will help him just a little bit but he refused to do it and I understand why. I am so happy that I stayed, I am so happy that I am that someone with whom he can talk to. It felt good for me because I love it when he opens up to me because then I feel like I am important like I am someone important in his life and I am so happy to be a part of his life. Usually, I feel helpless, and after this, I realized that I am helpful by being there for him, by listening to him and being understanding. When he was telling me all those things, there at that moment he was vulnerable and I don't like it when I see him like that, weak because then my heart breaks. I love helping him in any way that I can and if that is listening and just being there for him then I can do that any time. I have a feeling that he knows that I have his back, that I am here for him. "Thank you for being here." "Always."

Most of the time I feel everything that he feels and that's when I get sad and it's just breaking my heart but I hope that he will come to me more in the future because I am here and I'm not going anywhere.