Blood and Water

Chapter 121: Losing My Religion

Losing My Religion - R.E.M

Chibs POV

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Walking into TM, I had to control myself in ways I never thought I would need to. Tig was working on his bike, the only reason I was there. His face was black and blue from me and my fury. He glanced up at me and then stood, wiping his hands. 

Happy and Wade were working on one of the cars. "Clear out for a second," I said to them, looking over at Tig. 

All I could think about was the day I beat the sh*t out of Juice in there. Hopefully, it didn't go that way with Tig. Happy closed the door behind him as he walked out.

"What's up, Prez?" he asked, shoving his rag in his pocket.

I sighed, "We need to talk," as I closed the door.

He stared me down. "Are we talkin' or you gonna punch me in again?"

"Sit down," I ordered, pulling over one of the stools. "I need to make sure ya never tell Mina the truth. She can never know." He looked at me dumbfounded by my statement. "Listen to me, it would kill her. She's still so torn up about him, that would push her over the edge."

Tig rubbed his face and leaned back on the workbench he was sitting on. "How do I not tell her?" he asked. "How do you trust the two of us in a room together?"

His remark caught me off guard. "Why wouldn't I trust ya?"

"I mean how can we act normal around her?"

I lit a cigarette looking up at him. Taking a drag, I studied his face, seeing the curiosity on him. After thinking of my next words, I flicked the ashes into the ashtray on the bench next to me and shrugged my hands. 

"The same way you've been actin' the past nine months," I chuckled. He shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly. "I need ya whole. I need your head right. But I also need to protect her. I'm gonna swallow that burden. It's no longer yours. It's my job to tell her if and when she finds out. This is no longer your concern."

"Chibs, you can't be-"

I shook my head. "No, this is what's gonna happen: the thoughts of what went down, forget them. The guilt ya have, swallow it down so deep into your mind, it gets lost." I took another drag and said, "You were never there."

He sighed, "This is insane, brother. I can't undo what I did. I can't forget that."

"I'm not askin' ya to forget it. I'm tellin' ya. I'm tellin' ya as your president." That seemed to hit him, make it clear to him. "Tig, I love ya. You're my brother. I want to help you as best I can. But, I love her and need to protect her the best I can. This is how I do that."

He nodded, looking down at the ground and then back up. "Thank you, brother," he sighed. "If it makes you feel any better, she wasn't supposed to be there."

I clenched my jaw and then said, "It doesn't." I took another drag and as I exhaled the smoke, I asked, "Why would that make me feel better?"

"I don't know, man," he shook his head. "I don't know."

"Does anyone else know?"

He shook his head. "Only ones who knew are dead."

"Who else knew?" I asked.

"Clay, me, and Stefan. Piney knew a little but not the whole thing," he sighed. 

How could Piney know and not say anything to anyone? I got why he wouldn't have told me. I wasn't in SAMCRO yet. But Stefan was. He was a fully patched member. Why would Clay want him dead?