Blood and Water

Chapter 80: She Hates Me

She Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd

Chibs POV

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I screwed up big time. I ruined the one thing in this world I loved. I could finally admit that I loved her. I always did, I just couldn't put a label on it.

As expected, my efforts the night before didn't do much in the way of helping. If it did, I didn't know it. After I left the roses by her door, I went home to get ready for the day ahead of me, trying to figure out what I was going to do.

All I could do was think about her, how she was feeling, what she was doing. As I took a fast shower, I remembered the beginning, when the clubhouse blew up and her dad punched me, and our first kiss at the overlook, and our first date. I had to go and ruin that. I had to ruin her. Her beautiful, Cheshire smile had turned into a clenched jaw. Her big blue eyes I couldn't live without filled with tears, too many to wipe away. Her laugh had gone and turned into a scream and it was my fault.

I took a long way to Red Woody so I could drive by her house and make sure she was okay. The three cars that were around her house earlier had left. She was alone in that house and I didn't know what she was doing. I wanted to go knock on the door and see her, but she didn't want to see me.

I got to Red Woody and sat down at my spot at the table enjoying a few minutes alone. Jax walked in and sat down next to me. I was expecting another lecture from him, but instead, he just sat quietly too.

The rest of the guys walked in after a few minutes. "Jax," Tig sighed, making us look his way. "We heard from Coletti, the bounty hunter with Bobby's ex. He's got intel on the guy that we used for the Chinese in Selma."

"Not today," Jax said.

"Jackie," I sighed, "If we track down whoever ratted us out to Lin, we can shut another door."

Happy said, "We need to find the rat, Prez. He could be the one feeding intel to Marks too. This sh*t should've been handled already."

Jax looked over at me. "You sure you're up for it?" I chuckled and nodded. "Alright, bring Coletti here," he sighed, sounding almost a little defeated.

"I'll call him," Tig said. 

"Aye, you do that," I groaned, standing up. 

I followed Tig and Happy out to the bar and sat down, grabbing a coffee mug. As I sat, all I could think about was Mina and what she was doing. I really wanted to talk to her; I missed hearing her voice, especially when she chuckled as she spoke. 

Tig hung up and looked at me. "Why're you smiling?" he asked. I chuckled and shook my head. "Thinking about your old lady?"

"She's not my old lady."

"Wait, what happened?" he asked.

I chuckled, "None of the gossip whores told ya?" He shook his head, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "We're...on a break."

"What'd you do?" Tig asked, taking a sip.

I scoffed, "Who said it was me?"

He chuckled, "No one, but I know you wouldn't break up with her and she'd need a real good reason to end things with you."

"Aye, you're right," I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "I slept with Jarry."

He spat out his coffee all over the bar. "You what?" he yelled. "Why?"

"I don't know," I groaned. "It was stupid and I shouldn't 've done it."

"Damn, I thought she was really good for you too," he sighed.