With My Life

16

Chapter 16: The Service

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~Erwin~

~Memory/Dream~

My partner and I ran down the darkened halls chasing after our latest criminal. After weeks of gathering information, we had enough evidence to convict the man currently dashing away from us. Mike getting ahead parkouring on random items in his way, he was quickly gaining on him. I, on the other hand, figured I could get a shortcut by taking a corner and seeing if I could cut him off that way.

But with my luck, I found myself at a dead-end. "Shit," quickly turning around I head back and try to regroup with Mike but as I exited the area I had entered a loud bang sounded. Cokcing my head in the direction I quickly sprint there. I was already growing exhausted from running so much and for so long.

My feet carried me faster when I noticed the familiar body on the ground, and blood seeping out from under them. "No!" I scream, dashing to his side, I fall to my knees beside my best friend, my partner. My hands went straight to his bloody chest clutching onto his soiled shirt. "Mike!" I call, quickly taking his head into my hands I rest it on my lap while beginning to apply pressure on his wound.

Glancing up I wondered if the man was lurking around. "Stay with me, don't you dare close your eyes!" Mike's breath was becoming shallow. My vision was becoming blurred due to the tears forming. Shutting my eyes I tilt my head back and let out a groan in pain. "Please- gah- please!" I sob, that afternoon he died in my arms, it took the ambulance ten minutes to get there when another pair of policemen found us shortly after I got there.

~Memory/Dream Over~

My alarm woke me from the memory I dreamt about. And of course, it had to reappear on this day. I had no intentions of going, his family wouldn't want me there anyway- not after I left their son there to die. Sitting there in my messed-up sheets, I glanced back at the clock contemplating whether or not I should go into my fake job today. It would be a good distraction but I also don't want my negative mood to affect anyone else...including (Y/N).

~(Y/N)~

I came to work early to beat the rain, I was lucky to have done so because once I reached my dark office, I found rain on my window, softly tapping. As I flicked on the desk lamp, I let out a long sigh. It's going to be rather gloomy today here. Then I switched on the radio. "Looks like it's going to be a nasty day out there in San Ascord today folks as the rain will continue throughout the morning then remain cloudy for the rest of the day, be sure to bring an umbrella with you on your commute!" the woman spoke as I lowered the volume.

Moments pass when my door opens and a damp Erwin walks in, looking gloomier than the weather. "Erwin? Are you okay?" I ask, quickly walking up to him, I cup his face in my hands. His face was dark and sad, he turns towards one of my hands so I could feel his lips press against my palm. His right hand came and held onto my wrist but didn't push me away. It was like the first day I saw him, I could see the sadness in his eyes. This time though he wasn't keeping up with looking professional, something must've really been bothering him. "What's wrong?" I ask softly, I had hoped that now with how close we had become he'd feel comfortable telling me.

Letting out a sigh, I feel his lips twitch against my hand, raising his head he finally answers, "It's my best friend...Mike's funeral today," in my chest it felt as though my heart was plummeting to the floor. He never talked about his personal life.

"What? When did- What are- Shouldn't you be at the service?" I ask trying not to sound insensitive.

Erwin shook his head, quickly spinning around, his back was now facing me. I go to grab his face to force him to look at me. Turning it back a little, I could see tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "His family wouldn't want me there, I don't want to be a bother-"

"Don't say that, I'm sure they want you there,"

He let out another sigh, and his shoulders sank, "Even if I could, I don't want to leave you here," he mumbles.

"I'll go with you, I may not have known the man but I'll go with you...so you're not alone," I whisper the last part.

"Okay,"

The rain was coming down harder than before as Erwin and I exited through the main doors. I had told Hanji where we were going in case Zeke showed up and wondered where I was. As we got into the taxi that pulled up after I flagged it down, Erwin gave the man the address. I scooched closer to the blonde and watched as he depressingly looked out the raindrop-filled window. The ride was silent as we left the city.

As we pulled into the small cemetery, I could see the large crowd of people circled around the burial. Thank god we made it. The taxi stopped and we both split the payment of the ride including the tip, as I got out I waited for the blonde to step up to my side. Reaching out, I took his hand and followed his lead.

We kept our distance but were in close enough proximity to hear the pastor say a few verses. One by one some of the people in front of us began placing flowers on the casket. A chill ran down my spine as the cold rain started making me a little cold. We should've brought an umbrella.

After the pastor had finished speaking, the crowd began to disperse heading back to their vehicles. A blonde woman with two kids came up to us, she held the smaller child in her arms propped on her hip while the other was holding her hand. "Erwin, you made it," she says, her eyes clearly red from crying quite a lot. Releasing my hand Erwin steps forward to hug the lady.

"Hey Nanaba," he mumbles.

"(Y/N), this is Nanana, Mike's wife, and his two kids," he introduces. I shook the woman's hand and gave my condolences.

"Erwin... a word?" she asks.

The blonde man beside me nods but glances at me as if to make sure I'd be okay on my own. "Go ahead, I'll be right here," I mumble. With that Erwin nods again and follows Nanaba back to the casket. I stood there in the rain wondering what had happened to the man we were burying today.

~Erwin~

I stood over his casket beside his wife and children. It had been hard on them for weeks now, and because of financial issues, they had to delay the service until today. I had to admit, I hadn't kept up because I stopped speaking to his family after he died. I couldn't bring myself to be in their company, I felt they hated me. "We've been so worried about you, we tried getting a hold of you," Nanaba says.

Right, she and her mother had called me a few times after it all happened. But I was too upset to take any calls. "I know, I'm sorry I never called back I just... I didn't want to bother- to be honest, I figured you'd never want to see me again after-"

"Erwin, what happened wasn't your fault," she cuts me off and places her free hand on my arm, comforting me. This feels wrong, she should be the one being comforted. "I knew the risks he was taking when he was hired." she continues.

I felt my throat tighten, and my eyes burning again. I can't be here- I shouldn't- I turn away from her and moments after I could feel her head rest on my back. "He wouldn't want you blaming yourself for something you couldn't control. And I certainly don't want you doing that either, you were like a brother to him Erwin, part of this family. Don't push us away," she whispers.

Raising my head to look up at the grey sky, I let out a sigh and say, "I need more time Nanaba, because his killer is still out there," I mumble the last part. After questioning the guy Mike and I had been running after, Kenny and I found out it was someone else who shot my best friend, but the man wouldn't say. To me, I think he just didn't know who saved his ass that day.

"Take as much time as you need, but remember you can always call us if you need anything okay?" she asks.

Looking back I nod and give her one last hug before she walked off. And at that moment after taking another glance at the wooden box before me, I felt like I was going to break down again. Thankfully there was a nearby bench a couple of feet away allowing me to rest my weary legs. I hope (Y/N) doesn't see me.

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