Not Just A Fan - Josh Hutcherson

Chapter 80

Emma's POV

My morning starts off in a complete rush. Skylar runs around the room and fusses over me leaving UCLA so earlier. Tomorrow's the big day. The flight leaves at 7pm- I still have no idea where our first stop is. I've got everything situated with my teachers, I just need to take a quick trip home.

"Don't leave me!" Skylar whines as she grabs me in a tight hug.

I couldn't help but feel extremely grateful to have such a great roommate. She helped me get through classes and college life wasn't as dreadful as I thought it would be with her by my side.

I tell her all of this, and we both end up in tears. I pull away from her and look at the room. My side looks completely untouched, like I was never there to begin with. With a finally goodbye, I leave the dorm room and head towards the student parking lot.

So here I was now, driving to my house to pack my remaining things. Saying goodbye to everyone is going to be a whole lot harder than I anticipated. Like it was for Evan. I sent him a quick text last night explaining the offer I got that I could not pass up. And guess what he said? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So much for being friends.

I shake my head at the uneasy thought running through my head. He doesn't feel that way about you anymore.

I pull into the familiar driveway of my childhood home and smile to myself. So much has happened here. And even though I try to repress the memory, I cant help but think about Josh and how this all started with his car breaking down in front of this very house.

A sigh falls from my lips as I hesitantly get out of the car. I make sure the car is locked before walking to the front door. Do I open the door with my key or knock? It's simple things like this that makes me wish I could go back in time, when was just an ordinary girl still living at home and had a semi-drama free life.

Before I get to make up my mind, the door swings open and my mom stands there with a look of shock in her eyes.

"Emma!"

"Mom-"

"Guys! Emma's here!" She turns around and shouts through the house.

I hear a chorus of "Emma's!" and before I know it I'm being pushed in the door.

My dad, Eli, Kyle, and Lily all come running to me at a record speed and I find myself being smothered.

"I missed you so much Em," my dad says as he kisses me on the cheek.

Lily just about tackles me and I find it hard to keep my balance.

"Don't ever leave again." She mumbles into my leg. Her short stature hides just how strong she actually is.

I don't answer her, knowing that the reason I came here is to say goodbye.

"I need to talk to all of you." I announce.

Everyone gives me a questioning glance and I lead them to the living room.

Once everyone takes a seat I tell them, everything. I leave out what happened between me and Josh because that topic is still a touchy subject for me. My dad and mom look at me with their eyes wide and almost scream with excitement. They're so happy for me. Kyle mumbles that the offer I got is 'nice' when I know deep down he's jealous. And Eli tries hard to keep his cool.

Now Lily's another story. She looks at me with tears in her eyes and let's out a muffled sob. It breaks my heart. I promise her that I'll keep in touch, it's not like I'm leaving forever. When all is said and done, I lead Lily upstairs to play with her in my old room.

She brings in a bag of mini legos and we both make ourselves comfortable on the soft carpet. I hate these things because, one way or another, I always find a way to step on them.

"How are you Lily?"

"Great now that you're here!" She gives me a big smile as we continue to stack the countless Legos on the floor.

She redirects the question towards me and I answer without hesitation.

"I'm great." I lie. I don't want to burden my little sister with my petty problems.

"How's Peeta?" She asks.

I instantly freeze.

"He's...he's fine." I'm sure he is.

"We saw you on tv! You guys are perfect together." She gleams.

"Yeah..." We weren't nearly perfect.

"He should come over again. I love how happy you are with him."

I mumble my agreements and shut my eyes closed.

I feel soft hands on my face, and when I open my eyes, she's directly im front of me.

"Why are you sad?" She tilts her head to the side and wipes my tears away. I didn't realize I was crying.

"Josh.. I mean Peeta and I aren't together anymore." I say quietly.

"What? No! You're supposed to be together forever!" Her tiny lips tremble and suddenly she's in full blown tears.

"Shh, don't cry. Please don't cry." I hate when she cries because that only leads to me crying as well. I wrap her in my arms and say soothing things into her ear. What I don't realize is that I'm comforting myself as much as I'm comforting her.

"What's going on?" I look up to see Eli standing by the door with his eyebrows furrowed.

Please don't say anything. Please don't say anything. Please-

"Emma an-and Peeta br-broke up!" Lily says through muffled sobs.

So much for that.

Eli sends me a look and there's something in his eyes that I can't place. Is it pity? Guilt? Anger?

"Lily can you give Emma and I a minute?" He clenches his jaw.

Defiantly anger.

She hugs me a little tighter before scurrying out of the room, leaving Eli and I alone.

"Before you say anything, it wasn't Josh's fault."

"Why do I find that hard to believe." His fist clenches .

"Just leave it alone." I beg.

"I think I'll have to give Josh a little call."

"Stop! Just stop it okay? Don't call him, don't text him, don't do anything. It's hard enough as it is! I just want things to go back to normal. I want to forget I ever loved him!"

I instantly regret the words the moment they come out. Sure this has been painful but I would do it all again if it meant being with him.

"I didn't mean that." I shake my head.

"I know you didn't. Listen get some rest okay? You need to sleep. You can pack tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, I guess. I think I will sleep now."

I stand up from the floor and push the hairs that were stuck to my face from my tears to the side. I take a deep breath and relax my breathing. Before I know it, Eli has me wrapped in his arms.

"It going to be okay Emma." His words are a sort of promise that I try to desperately cling onto.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I hear his footsteps fade away in the distance as I crumble into bed.

I miss him, I miss him so much. I really thought I was over him. But with each waking moment I feel the emptiness-the darkness consuming me, leaving me cold and desperate. It won't be long until I see him on set. Am I ready to see him so soon? I honestly don't know.

He's over you, so get over him. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, it'll actually be true.

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