Not Just A Fan - Josh Hutcherson

Chapter 75

I squeezed my eyes shut and wait for his response.

After a moment of silence I look up at his face. His eyes are cast down and the room grows still.

"Josh," I try to touch he hand but he immediately backs away with hurt in his eyes. He shakes his head in confusion.

"No. You wouldn't." He tries to convince himself.

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. His eyes look at me with a deep sadness I didn't expect. At that moment my dream came rushing back to me.

"While I've been planning all of this, that's what you've been doing? Was it that hard to wait for me?" His voice takes on a tone of anger but I know better. I see it in his eyes. I hurt him. I hurt him like Evan hurt me.

"You're just like him you know that right? You and Evan were made for each other." He turns his back to me and that's when I lose it.

My heart plummets and I'm too choked to say anything. Instead, I turn away and run towards a door near the kitchen and lock myself inside, hoping that all of this pain would go away.

I cry into my hands as his words finally hit me.

You and Evan were made for each other.

You're just like him.

How could he say that? Am I really like Evan?

I wipe away my tears and look up at the room I was in. A bathroom. The floor is made of marble and so is the countertops. It's ironic how beautiful this place is when I'm in such a horrible situation.

I make myself get up as I process everything. I knew this would happen. And it's no ones fault but my own. Of course Josh wouldn't stay with me- there's no reason why he should.

My reflection in the mirror makes me cringe. My hair is pulled back into a ponytail and I'm wearing jeans and a plain black long-sleeved shirt that Jen lent to me after the party. I didn't have the chance to take off my makeup so the smudges all over my face are noticeable.

"Em?"

The door nob rattles as he tries to open it. As I approach the door I have to calm myself down in order to respond to him.

My hand touches the lock but I can't seem to will myself to open it. Instead I let out another cry and sink to the floor.

"Emma? Hey I'm sorry-"

"No, don't apologize you have nothing to apologize for. You're right."

A noise from the other side of the door catches my attention.

"You still there?" I cry out.

Josh lets out a yes and it's then that I realize he's sitting directly across the door from me.

It's silent for a moment and all that could be heard is the sound of my sniffling. I can't imagine what could be going on in his head.

"Why?" He finally asks.

I pull my sleeve to my face and wipe the tears away. I take a shaky breath before answering.

"I wasn't in the right state of mind. I drank way to much to prove to everyone that I wasn't some prude dating a celebrity. I was stupid-I am stupid. We were playing truth or dare with a bunch of people I didn't know and apparently everything thinks I'm using you for your money," I let out a shaky laugh. "Of course I took it offensively. So I went to be by myself in this hallway at the house and I started seeing things that weren't there. You were one of them. I thought you came back- I thought it w-was you in front of my when I kissed him." My breathing becomes uneven as I recall the events from the party.

"Why did you wait this long to tell me?" he asks quietly.

I answer his question in complete honesty. "I didn't want to ruin your plans. I know that's a stupid answer but I was- I was scared."

"Scared of me?" I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"No. I was scared of losing you. But I should have realized that I lost you the day I kissed him." My breathing relaxes once I accept the fact that I finally lost him.

I hear shuffling from the other side of the door. Once it grows quiet, I have a sinking feeling in my heart.

"I need to think." he says.

I nod my head even though I know he can't see my face.

"For the record, I didn't mean what I said earlier, about you and him."

His footsteps grow distant and even though I know he can't hear me, I speak.

"I love you, Josh."

Josh's POV.

"I love you, Josh." she mumbles to me as I'm on my way out the door.

My head is pounding and I can't help the fury that builds up inside. And none of it is directed towards Emma. It's towards him. Evan.

What gives him the right to kiss her? After everything he's done to her?

I find myself sitting in the hotel lobby with my hand running through my hair.

God I feel like beating the living crap out of him.

And Emma-was it really her fault? Was any of this her fault? I know she must be beating herself up about this. I just love her so much. I can't see a future without her in it. And I know it must be hard for her to see me kiss girls on screen, so isn't that just the same?

I look up from my seat to see a guy and girl sitting next to each other. It's obvious that they like each other but neither of them know how to make the first move. She looks at something across the room and he stares at her face longingly. I smile to myself when I think of how awkward Emma and I were at first. The truth is- we haven't spent enough time with each other to know how this is going to work out. I was gone for a while. And plus it was one kiss. It's not like she slept with the bastard.

Once I made up my mind, I make my way back to the hotel room. I notice that Emma's still not out of the bathroom.

"Emma? Babe?" I knock softly on the door. There's no answer. After I try knocking a few times, I take my key out to unlock the door.

"Em?" the door swings open and it's only then I see her curled body on the floor followed by soft snoring.

Her makeup ran down her face but she still glows-she's still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

I carefully scoop her up in my arms and take her to the bed around the corner. I place her small frame down on the bed and pull the covers up the her chest. A glance is all I need to make up my mind. I lean down to kiss her forehead.

"I love you too."

Prepare yourself for MAJOR drama.