Acknowledge His Heart

I'm Done

Joe POV

Hurt, angry, confused, conflicted right now I felt all those things as I sat in the local bar nursing my glass of whiskey.
When I left the hospital I walk straight into the first bar I found probably not my best idea but I wanted to make the pain I was feeling go away, or at least numb it for a while.

The only thing I knew for sure was that I was done with Jas I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her at this point in time, when she had said she was pregnant I was over the moon but then she ripped it away from just as quick and thats why I was conflicted, becuase I was also sure that if the baby was mine I wanted to be a part of my child's life but how could I do that and not have anything to do with Jas at the same time?

How could she do that to me, to us? She had barely left me and she  jumped straight into bed with her ex. She had laid in my arms and told me they had been over for a year, she had lied to me. Maybe we both got each other wrong maybe she wasn't the person I thought she was after all.

Maybe what we had never really meant that much to her, I mean how could it if she did that? I loved her I had given her everything in me and I had no idea I was getting half measure in return if not less.

"There you are uce we've been looking all over for you" Jey says as he and Jimmy sit either side of me

"Ever think I didn't want to be found" I growl my eyes fixed on my glass

"What's going on uce?" Jimmy asks

"Jas is pregnant" I sigh "and it might not be mine"

"Did she cheat on you?" Jey asks

"No the day she dumped me she jumped straight into bed with her ex Randy" I say as my grip on the glass tightens

"As in Orton?" Jimmy asks and I nod "damn I'm sorry man"

"Yeah well until she does a dna it's not my problem" I say sipping on the whiskey

"You're not even going to try and figure things out with her?" Jey asks and I shake my head

"I want nothing to do with her Jey" I say "she broke my heart, she pulled it out put it in a blender and hit frappe the second she told me"

"I know what she did ain't good but she loves you uce anyone can see that" Jimmy says "and I know you love her"

"Yes I love her but I sure as shit don't trust her now how can I?" I ask

"You said it yourself she didn't cheat" Jey says "you weren't together"

"It still hurts that what we had meant so little to her" I say "it couldn't have for her to do that"

"You need to talk to her uce find a way to work through this" Jimmy says

"God damn it Jimmy!" I snap slamming my fist on the bar "I told you I am done with her now drop it I don't want to here her name ever again"

"Come on man ain't no talking to him right now" Jimmy says as he and Jey stand "let's leave him to it"

Alone once again I go back to staring at my glass, what did they know, they've never been in this situation, why should I listen to them?

No I meant what I said I am done with her, we are over and there is no going back no matter how much I love her, no matter how much I miss her.

Man do I miss her, I would give anything to hold her right now but I can't bear to look at her, I can't stand to be anywhere near her right now. I wonder what she is doing right now? How she's feeling? Is she thinking about me?

The twins couldn't possibly be right could they? I mean how the hell do we get passed this? There's just no way that we can ever come back from this