Acknowledge His Heart

What He Really Wants

2 weeks later
Jasmine POV

I once again found myself in the same position I've been in since we brought Kalia home, sitting on the couch twiddling my thumbs while Joe does everything for Kalia.

While I loved that he was hands on at the same time I felt like I had barely done anything for her apart from express milk like some kind of human dairy. I haven't done one single diaper change, I haven't dressed her or put her to bed, Joe has done all that, he does everything except the one thing he can't do, breast feed.

But that wasn't the only thing bothering me, while he is so wrapped up in our new baby I feel like I've been left out in the cold, it's not that I'm jealous of my daughter far from it I'm just scared, scared that maybe it was Kalia he really wanted and that this is the start of him backing away from me.

"Anybody home?" My mum calls out

"In here mum" I call back

"Hi sweetheart how are you feeling?" She asks giving me a hug

"I'm good" I say forcing a smile

"Where's my granddaughter?" She beams

"I'll give you three guesses but you will probably only need one" I sigh

"Hey what's wrong?" She asks "has something happened between you and Joe"

"No it's nothing" I say "just ignore me I'm being silly"

"Hmm I'm not buying that for one second" she says "hey Joe" she calls out

"Hey Sandra" he calls back from upstairs

"I'm taking Jas out for some air" she says "just down to the beach"

"Alright see you both soon" he shouts back

"Right you come with me" she says taking my hand and walking me out of the french doors and towards the private beach.

"Start talking" she says as we walk

"Ever since we brought her home I've spent all my time sitting and twirling my thumbs" I sigh "he's done everything and I don't feel like I've been a mother to her at all"

"I remember you telling me how much being a father meant to him" my mum says linking her arm with mine "he's got something he always wanted, he's happy and wrapped up in his baby girl, he'll calm down soon enough"

"And what about me?" I sigh "I'm beginning to wonder if it was Kalia he really wanted and not me, and it hurts mum, I'm scared because I'm so in love with him that I can't be without him"

"Are you serious?" She says stopping just before the edge of the water "honey that man adores you, he worships the ground you walk on, now you festering like this is not good for you, talk to him tell him how you feel"

"I don't want to hear him tell me I'm right" I sigh

"You always were a stubborn one" she says "alright I'm going to go and get my granddaughter from Joe and I'm going to send him out here becuase you two are going to talk"

Joe POV

Once I finished changing Kalia I brought her back downstairs and laid her on her activity mat, she seemed to love being on it and I loved watching her wriggle about and kick her legs. I never thought that I could love another person as much as I love Jas but I do, this little girl has stolen my heart just like her mum did.

Looking up I see Sandra walk back into the house but Jas is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Jas?" I ask

"She's down at the beach" she says "I think you two need to talk"

"Why? What's happened? Is she ok?" I ask panicking slightly

"Go talk to her Joe" she says and I look down at Kalia "I'll look after her, go Jas needs you"

I leave Kalia with her grandmother as I head down to the beach in search of Jas and it's not long before I spot her standing by the waters edge, her arms wrapped around herself and her hair gently blowing in the breeze.

I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her but instead of leaning back against me like she always does she stays still, and I see a tear roll down her cheek.

"Baby what's wrong?" I ask turning her to face me

"I love that you are hands on with Kalia but I haven't done a single thing for her since we brought her home, and I feel like I'm not being a mother to her" she says

"I know I've been hogging her and I'm sorry baby I really am" I say "I promise from now on we will take care of her together, I just want to be with her all the time, I love her so much, but I shouldn't have pushed you out I'm sorry"

"Thank you" she says "but it's not just that, you've been so wrapped up in her that it's like you forgot about me, and I'm wondering if it was Kalia you really wanted and not me"

I look at Jas and for a moment I can't believe what I am hearing, I can't believe I've made her feel this way.

"Hey listen to me" I say "I want you, I will always want you, I love you with all my heart and I am sorry that I made you feel this way. I've been so wrapped up in being the best father I can be that I forgot that I needed to also be the best partner I could be, I promise you that as of right now that is going to change, I'm going to do better and I will never let you down again"

I take her in my arms once again and this time she reciprocates wrapping her arms around my neck and holding me tightly, as I hold her close to me I realise that while I had been concentrating on being a good dad that I had allowed myself to slip on my other responsibilities namely showing this amazing woman everyday that I love her, I had neglected her and I was never going to make that mistake again.