Death Eaters Daughter Part Two

One Hundred Ninety Four

Since I've been here I've received letters from my worried friends
Hermione, Fred, Harry but none from Draco
I've lettered him though, I've tried to at least
My letters always end up back here

"Do you think he's alright?" I asked Charlie during breakfast "I don't understand why his letters would return to me"

He passed me some fruit we found on our flight
"I'm sure he's going through it. His father was arrested, he might be keeping a low profile"

"I suppose" I took a bite out of my apple "my dad hasn't written to me either...he blames me"

"I don't think he blames you"

I looked up at Charlie
"Has he been to order meetings?"

"No, we've had them at the burrow and he hasn't shown"

"I should go find him, he's probably at Sirius's house"

"Is that wise?"

I haven't left the campsite since Charlie brought me here
The caretakers have been filling my days with training and flying, anything to keep me occupied was the goal
If I went back to London I would be facing reality again...

"I just don't want him to be alone with this, if I was alone I don't know what I would be doing right now...probably hanging out at that bar for starters"

"Want me to go with you to find your dad?"

I shook my head
"No, I think it should just be me"

"You can leave after breakfast" Charlie has taken the time to teach me apparation
I'm not legally allowed to start training until my birthday in March, but as long as I'm not caught I can't get into trouble
With Corban still out there, Charlie wanted me to have an easy escape if need be

I finished my breakfast and kissed Cor goodbye
"See you soon my love"
I apparated to London, the center down the street from Sirius's house
I took a deep breath and began walking towards the dark street

When I arrived I tapped the password on the cobblestone and waited for the house to show itself
Once it did I walked up the steps and slowly opened the door
No lights were on and the hallway looked dusty
As if no one has been living here since Sirius passed months ago

"Dad?" I called out
No answer

I continued walking down the hallway
I wouldn't have been mentally alright enough to walk down this when he left this world, I don't know if my dad has been either
Everything reminded me of him
Even the smell, it smelt like smoke and black cherry something that he was fond of

I looked into the kitchen
There was a dinner that was in the middle of being prepared, but it was molded
It looked like a dinner made for a few, I'm not sure if there was an order meeting that day as well or if they were expecting company
I wonder what went through their heads when Snape told them what was happening

I walked into the kitchen and began cleaning up the mess
Sirius wasn't neat, my dad always was so I suppose the need to clean came from him
I placed the now emptied plates in the sink and did the few dishes that laid there

I sat down at the table after cleaning it and placed my head onto my knuckles
Maybe my dad is at his old house...I don't even know where that is
He hasn't even invited me there, it's a place he goes when he transforms I doubt anyone but Sirius knew it's location

I heard the front door open
I got up from my seat and started walking in that direction

"Who's here?" My dad said

"It's me" I replied

He didn't say anything, but I heard his feet stop moving

"Dad?" I said again

"Why are you here?" He asked by the door

I felt hurt by his question
Not are you ok
Not I missed you
Just why are you here
"I came to see if you were doing ok...I haven't heard from you in a while"

He didn't say anything
I walked to the archway and looked in his direction
He looked...rough
The full moon wasn't for a few weeks again, but he looked like he just got done transforming
His hair was a mess and his outfit was ragged
My dad, even on his worst days, has always looked together
"Dad you don't look well...I should have come here earlier I shouldn't have left you alone"

"I wanted to be alone" he said "I didn't want to see you to be honest"

Fuck that hurt too
"Is that how you still feel?"

"Cora" he placed down a bag he was carrying "I don't want to see you still"

I nodded my head
"I understand, I'll leave"

I started walking passed him, just as I was about to go by he grabbed my arm
"I don't want to see you because I can't get passed blaming you for what happened. You didn't listen to us when we told you and Harry to leave. You stayed and Sirius gave his life for that reason. What you did was in your opinion correct but if you had left he would still be here. I can't see you because I can't stand looking at you"

I didn't let myself cry
I moved his hand from my arm and opened the front door
I didn't bother saying anything to him I just walked far enough away that I could apparate back to the camp ground

Once I arrived I saw that Shilo was waiting for me smiling
"Did you find your dad?" He asked hugging me

I let myself cry then
He didn't say anything, he just held me tightly until I stopped

"Cora!" Alec said "you're back alread....." he ran over to us and hugged me tightly too "what happened?"

I pulled my face away from them
"My dad doesn't want to see me, he does blame me"