Death Eaters Daughter Part Two

One Hundred Fifty Two

Weeks have gone by and I am still broken

I clutched onto my necklace now holding both my dragon's scale and Nico's while drinking whiskey shooters at the same run down bar in back alley London that used to be my home

Charlie tried to help me mourn the loss of my heart, but nothing helped
After Nico's death Charlie arranged a funeral for both him and Kai
It was beautiful, something they both would have loved
Dragons lit both of their bodies on fire, and together we all spread their ashes on their final ride with us
I clutched onto their ashes tightly before letting go
Watching the ash fall from my hands only reminded me of how they were gone forever
I would never seen Nico's eye turn bright brown for me, or never help him figure out what each color meant
I would never feel safe in his arms, never have a sleep filled night again
Anytime I've closed my eyes recently I've just seen his bloodied body laying down beside me

I told Charlie I was heading home after and that I would come back during the holiday, but I left and never returned to my family and friends
I told Cor that I loved her and would see her soon, leaving her was painful but I couldn't be in that spot
I couldn't take her with me either, not yet at least

School started already, it's a week in at least
But I didn't show up

I let Charlie take me back to Sirius' house a week an a half before school started and told him I would go inside
He was busy and couldn't stay around to watch me go in, so when he disapparated I walked down the street until I made it here
Where I've been staying since

The barkeep has a few room for those who get too drunk to leave, and he's let me stay in one of them
He tells me every time I walk down for drinks how beautiful I am and how he wished I wasn't so young
"So skinny, just the way I like them"
He would tell me
I was only this way because I refused to eat, I just wanted to waste away

If I wasn't a broken human I would think it was a bad place to stay but I could not care less what happens to me anymore

Drinks after drinks
He continued to pour for me
At one point he started to put his hands on my body while I rested there, I never stopped him
I'm too numb to bother with my existence

  "Another round" I said slurring my words

He laughed
  "Drunk enough to fuck me yet?"
I felt him take his hand off of me and back off the bar slightly

I went to answer him but someone else did instead
  "Talk to my daughter like that again and you'll find yourself in a worse situation than being shut down for serving underage" said the voice of Sirius

I didn't bother turning around
  "Another round" I demanded

I felt Sirius sit beside me
  "She's done" he said flatly

  "She wants more she's getting more" the barkeep said, pouring me another whiskey "Sirius Black in my bar, trying to control who I serve? One call to the ministry and that'll change your attitude real quick"

Sirius grabbed the male by his collar and punched him straight in the face
The man backed up into his liquor, spilling bottles everywhere
  "Fuck you" he said "take her with you. She's not putting out I don't need her around anymore"

Sirius looked like he wanted to continue fighting the man but he placed his hand on my back instead
  "Cora it's time to go home"

  "Sirius I don't want to" I said tripping over my words "I'm done"

  "Good let's go" he said using his arms to hoist me out of my bar seat

  "I didn't mean done drinking"

  "Then what do you mean?" He asked

  "Done living" I said flatly
I reached for the bottle the barkeep didn't break but Sirius took it and smashed it onto the floor instead

He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and walked with me out of the bar
I saw his magical motorcycle parked outside
  "Risking two feet instead of four just to see me?" I said

  "Risk getting caught and thrown into Azkaban to save you yes" he said putting me on the backseat
He sat in the front
  "Hold on"

I wrapped my hands around his waist and laid my head on his back
He took off from the ground and flew high into the sky
My head was throbbing and spinning from being drunk all day and night, this ride wasn't helping

We rode for an hour before settling down near a large tree by a set of train tracks that I knew were abandoned
  "Why are we here?"

  "So you can sober up before going to see Remus. You have any idea how worried we've all been!" He said raising his tone
Sirius has never yelled at me before
  "Charlie told us he dropped you off at the house, and said you were going inside. You didn't"

  "I didn't"

  "Why"

I felt off balance, so I laid my head against a tree and fell all the way to the ground
  "Sirius"

He waited for me to speak again

  "I had sex while I was gone"

Sirius looked like I had punched him
His eyes were wide and mouth hung open
  "Charlie is officially the worse supervisor"

  "I didn't just have sex, I fell in love" I began wiping my face
I don't know when I started but I was crying, I hadn't cried since Nico's funeral

  "You were in love with Fred I thought?" He said coming to sit in front of me

  "I thought so too...Sirius I met the most incredible male I've ever had the pleasure of knowing...he was perfect. He...he died"

Sirius' emotions were pouring out
Sadness, he felt my pain

  "He made me feel alive, I didn't know it but I was broken again. After I was kidnapped I didn't realize how badly I needed someone like him in my life, he made me feel loved...not like you or dad or Hermione but the kind of love that happens rarely. He-he died right in front of me and it BROKE ME" I yelled

Sirius held me tightly to his chest as I screamed
  "I'm so broken I don't want to live anymore"

  "I want you to live"

  "Why can't I have what I want"

  "Because it's not going to better you"

  "But I'll see Nico again"

  "But you'll never see Hermione, Harry Ron Draco me or your dad ever again"

His words hit me deeply
  "How do I move on from this...? How do I get myself back again"

Sirius began rubbing my back softly
  "By living, doing what you were meant to do. Dumbledore can get you into school, it's not been too long since it's started it won't be a problem. You need to see your friends and family again, and your dragon that I heard is missing you terribly"

  "I love my dragon, she's stunning"

  "I bet she is, you'd be leaving her if you left this world too"

Nightfall came upon us and owl's began circling the night sky
I looked up from Sirius' chest and saw a star shining brighter than the rest
Cancer's Star
Nico