Before I Forget

Be an Alpha!

Two times they had made out now, and two times she had run away from him.

That thought had a bitter taste, and Hawk ran his tongue over his teeth, trying to repel it.

What did I do wrong? Why did she fucking leave?

"Strike!"

Hawk punched the air with all his might, pulled his fists back into the starting position with one, swift move.

He had tried calling Sky after school, but she hadn't picked up. Nor had she replied to the texts he had sent her.

She's fucking ghosting me. After what happened today—
Was I so bad at it? I thought she liked it...

"Strike!"

The same movement pattern again, an attack - a retreat. Sensei Lawrence's sharp commands echoed in the dojo, Hawk's body obeyed, this new body of his that was getting stronger, faster every day.

But he was hardly listening to his sensei, and his mind was elsewhere. It was in that kiss, in Sky's lips, in the way she had ran out of the door and left him standing there alone in that empty room like an idiot with a hard-on of the fucking century in his pants.

Two times.
Two times I've kissed her and two times she's run away from me without looking back—

"Hawk!"

He flinched, looked up. Sensei Lawrence was standing right in front of him, and by the looks of it, he'd been standing there for some time now.

"Take your head off the dumpster, Hawk! Didn't you hear anything I said?"

He blinked, lowered his fists, red spots of embarrassment spreading on his cheekbones.

"No, Sensei. I'm sorry, Sensei—"

"Don't be sorry, be here!" Sensei Lawrence snapped to his face. "I've said this before, to all of you - if you aren't focused, you should leave."

Hawk lowered his gaze to the floor and nodded. Annoyed and angry at himself he clenches his fists on his sides - Sensei Lawrence had been the only one who had believed he could do this, that he should be here, that he could hatch from the shell that had been called Eli, and be reborn as Hawk.

"I'll do better, Sensei."

"Good! That's what I expect of you, Hawk! Your very best, every time you step a foot on this dojo. That's the only way to become a Cobra! Now, do forward strike, and do it like you mean it this time!"

"Yes, Sensei!"

And Hawk did as he was told, forcing away the memory of Sky, replacing it with the faces of his bullies - that always worked - imagining the smug, stupid faces of Kyler and Brucks in front of him. He fed into the violent dreams that had once been only dreams but now felt like something more, like a reality. He punched the air in front of him, struck hard, imagining his fist met with skin, flesh, breaking bone. Imagining blood on his knuckles.

This time he struck without hesitation, he was sharp and focused like the hawk he was.
—————————————————————————————————————

But after the lesson, his mind began to wander again. He had briefly checked his phone before the cool down, and still there was no reply from Sky to his earlier message asking if she wanted to meet after karate.

They were on the mat, stretching - him, Aisha and Miguel, and Miguel was going on and on about some stupid octopus toy and Sam - both subjects that didn't interest Hawk in the least. He had stopped listening a while ago, and started obsessing about Sky again, when he realized that Aisha had been trying to get his attention, probably for some time now.