Before I Forget

River Styx

Trigger warning for pretty much everything.

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"Dad—!" Sky cried, her voice breaking as she rushed in and slammed the heavy front door behind her. "Dad, are you home?"

No answer came, the house was empty and silent and it made Sky cry even harder. The only sounds in the house were Napoleon's meowing as he rushed to greet Sky, and her own ragged, broken sobs.

Ignoring the small, black cat, Sky stumbled inside and let her backpack fall onto the floor. The walls were collapsing on her, the room was spinning. There was a black hole inside her chest. It was a void that sucked out her life, it crushed her ribs, it ate her heart like a hungry beast, leaving nothing behind.

The pain was blinding. She couldn't take it, she wasn't strong enough to carry it alone.

"Da— dad—" she sobbed.

But of course, Dad was out. He was probably having lunch with Lisa, as he should be, having a happy moment after all the crap Sky had poured on him the night before.

It now felt like 1000 years ago. A lifetime had passed in less than 24 hours.

Sky wished she had never told dad. She should've just kept her mouth shut. Everything had changed since yesterday, and now it was all futile, the shame, the guilt, they had all been for nothing.

Thank God she hadn't told Hawk. There was that at least. He only would have spread that to his friends too, they would have laughed about it together—

It doesn't even matter. Everyone already thinks I'm a slut.

Hawk's betrayal felt like a sword through her sternum. How stupid she had been to trust him, to believe he could change. He had destroyed the science project. He had told his friends about fucking her in the closet. He had just stood there as the Cobras laughed, as they called her names—

He had just stood there and watched her die.

I can never go to school again.

Demetri had heard all of it, and Sam too. Sky had seen Sam in the crowd, her eyes wide, her lips a tight line across her face as Sky had rushed out of the cafeteria, tears blurring her vision.

She wasn't going to find out what Sam thought about her now. Or Moon. Or Yasmine. They would never want a friend who was so stupid she let herself be fucked in school like a whore, so stupid she hadn't believed when everyone had told her Hawk would break her heart. She'd been so stupid, stupid, stupid—

Her leg still gave her a hard time and climbing upstairs took a lot longer than she would've wanted. Napoleon followed her, clearly worried, and tried to get her attention, but Sky couldn't even look at the small feline. She had no love to give him, no comfort. All she had was death and destruction, the end of all hope.

When she reached the bathroom, the phone in her pocket started buzzing, but fuck that. She barely noticed it. She wasn't a human being anymore. She was a ghost, a shadow, an empty shell.

All that had been good in her had died in the cafeteria, and there was nothing left but pain.

The red, metallic medicine box was still in the same cabinet as it had been in the summer. Taking a shaky breath, Sky pulled it out and laid it on the counter. It wasn't even locked, but the relief soon turned into a bitter disappointment as she opened the lid and went through the contents, finding nothing but band-aids, antacids, and a half empty bottle of Tylenol.