Before I Forget

Thank God for Books

"Sky,

I haven't heard from you since you moved to California, and my heart is breaking.

I miss you. We all miss you. Adriana keeps asking when are you coming over again, and Paulo is threatening to buy plane tickets and come to your door if you won't answer his emails.

Instead of one daughter, I feel like I have lost two, and it is too much.

I know you think that what happened was your fault, but it wasn't. No matter how much I miss Katarina, I do not blame you. I never have. I need you to know that what happened that horrible day was not your fault.

Please, Sky, write me back. I want to know that you are alright."

Sky stared at the words on paper for a long time, tears blurring her vision, memories flooding her mind. Breathing in and out, in and out.

She couldn't make herself answer that letter - not yet - so she simply folded it back into the envelope and laid it on her desk, on top of her school books, but the words Kat's mom had written kept circling in her head, and she couldn't easily shake them off.

'It wasn't your fault.'

Whose then, if not mine?

For the rest of the afternoon, she buried herself in schoolwork, to keep her mind off things. But every once in a while she glanced towards that pile of papers, to the simple white envelope, hearing the words of that short letter in her mind over and over again.

It wasn't your fault.

Aisha came over after school, just as she had promised and to Sky's great delight, she brought cupcakes. Carrying the box with an assortment of different colored delicacies that were almost a work of art, Sky led Aisha into her room - this was the first time Aisha was in here, yesterday she had waited downstairs with Miguel - and just like everyone, she was blown away by her enormous bed.

"That thing is like straight from a romance novel," Aisha commented with a laugh.

Sky rolled her eyes.

"Not that many interesting things happen there," she replied. "Books beat real life every time."

Aisha gave a laugh as they climbed to sit on the bed, side by side, leaning their backs on the headboard. Sky picked a pink cupcake with a huge amount of fluffy frosting and took a bite while Aisha went for a simpler option.

Suddenly Sky felt nervous.

She tried not to think about the times she'd had Kat sitting in this bed just like this - all the sleepovers, all the late-night chats, all the times she had poured her heart to Kat, the times they had made lists of the hottest Avengers or something just as stupid. Her chest tightening with emotion, Sky glanced at Aisha, who was not Kat - but who was kind and awesome and smart and funny and badass, and wanted to be her friend, and maybe that was enough.

"So, tell me what I missed in school?" Sky asked and Aisha replied, and just like that they fell into a conversation that was natural and effortless, as everything in Aisha was.

It felt really good.

They talked about school, their friends, movies they wanted to see, and homework they didn't want to do. And then the talk drifted into Karate, and the coming tournament.

"I must say that I'm with Sensei in this one," Aisha was saying. "You have the skills, you have what it takes to win the whole thing. You can't just bail."

Sky made a face. "Come on, I'm done with karate. And I mean all of it, not just the tournament."

"I understand you feel like that now," Aisha replied solemnly. "But really, I think you are overreacting. You should come to the dojo today. We can go together if you want to."