Before I Forget

I Do My Own Stunts

Sky didn't want to read your letter. She asked me to tell you that you should not try to write to her again.

For what it's worth, I am sorry, Eli. I know you wished for a different outcome.

—-Nicholas

Hawk stared at the words on the screen of his phone, fighting the nauseous pain they caused. It felt like he was stabbed in the head, the pain was blinding, and he couldn't help a gasp that left his lips, as he read the text.

"Eli, put your phone away," came Mrs. Darrel's voice. "You know you aren't allowed to use it in the classroom."

He glanced up, at the teacher who was staring at him with a displeased frown. He was in the biology class, but that hadn't stopped him from pulling the phone from his pocket when he felt the short buzz that told someone had messaged him. Screw the school - nothing could have stopped him from reading the message, because the only thing he could think of every time his phone buzzed, was Sky - the letter he had sent, his desperate apology, the sickening mix of hope and fear that kept him in a state of agony 24/7 nowadays.

The way he had hoped - hoped against all reason - that he was forgiven, that he was given a second chance—

The words on the screen of his phone were a dagger to his heart. As he read them again, the truth slowly sank in, drowning him as surely as if he'd been dragged to the bottom of the Mariana Trench. The pressure crushed the air out of his lungs, it broke his bones. His whole body ached as he realized what a fool he had been.

He had tried. He had failed.
There was no redemption for him.

"Eli, the phone," Mrs. Darrel repeated, clearly annoyed. "Or I'll send you to Counselor Blatt's office right now."

That did it. If Hawk had to deal with Blatt today, he would murder that stupid cunt.

"Sorry," he muttered, and pushed the phone into his pocket, trying to hide the slight trembling of his hands.

The girl sitting next to him arched a brow and leaned a bit closer.

"Bad news?"

Hawk glanced at her - they had had this seating chart only for a couple of weeks, and he had a seat next to a girl he barely knew. Her name was Cassie - or maybe Carrie? He really should have known by now, but he just hadn't been interested enough to pay attention. It was probably Cassie, he decided. She was kinda pretty in that nerdy way - she had a short, a bit spiky haircut, big glasses and she wore a cute T-shirt that hugged her curves - it had a picture of Spider-Man and a text I do my own stunts. She was tiny - in a way that reminded Hawk of Sky - short and slender, but with a pair of pretty nice tits.

He had noticed that during these couple of weeks, despite his heartbroken state of mind. Hell, he would have to be dead not to notice a pair of nice tits, if they were right there in front of him.

A bit annoyed with himself, he looked away and muttered a response. "Nah, it was nothing."

"Okay," the girl replied. "If you say so."

Hawk turned his eyes back to his notebook and started scribbling the notes Mrs. Darrel had written on the blackboard, but his mind was still elsewhere.

Sky hadn't wanted to read the letter. So, Moon had been wrong. Sky didn't love him anymore, and even if she had some feelings towards him, she wasn't going to forgive, she wasn't going to give Hawk another chance.

Not that he deserved one. He had known that all along - there had been this nagging voice at the back of his mind ever since he had written that letter, yelling at him that it was selfish and stupid to beg for forgiveness when you had done something unforgivable. Unforgivable. That's what Nicholas had called it too - what he had done to Sky.