Before I Forget

Renessaince

Sky spent that afternoon in her room with Aisha, getting rid of everything that reminded her of Hawk.

That work was exhausting, and Sky was very much aware of the fact that she couldn't have endured it without Aisha's help.

There were just so many things, and every little one held a big memory. All the small notes, the cards, and letters Hawk had written to her with his beautiful, precise handwriting. The heart-shaped pendant he had gifted her on their one-month anniversary. The pair of earrings he had bought her in Rome. The silly photos they had taken on one of their first dates at Golf N' Stuff, that showed them making funny faces - and in the last one, they were kissing.

Looking at the photos made Sky feel sick. All too well could she remember how his lips felt on hers, how those long fingers brushed through her hair–

She needed him still, her body betraying her emotion with a quickening pulse and blushing cheeks as she let herself remember how that kiss had felt. How he had kissed her like a man starved, as if she was something amazing, something he would always love and care about above all else.

Stupid, so fucking stupid.

With trembling hands, Sky ripped the photos to pieces and threw them into a trash bag Aisha was holding for her. It was already overflowing with things, and Sky tried hard not to look at them too closely. Thank God Aisha had promised to throw the bag into the trash on her way home - there was no way Sky could've done that herself.

"Was that all?" Aisha asked, glancing around the room.

Sky's heart sank. "Well, there is still him."

She turned to look at the giant panda plushie that lay on her bed, the one Hawk had won for her at the Valley Fest. The panda stared back at her with his big, shiny, innocent eyes. Sky could hardly believe she'd had him only for a month or so - it felt like a lifetime. She fricking loved that plushie and all the memories that came with it.

"I can't kill Tao-Tao," Sky said, her voice breaking. "It's not his fault Hawk is an asshole."

Aisha took a look at the plushie and let out a sigh. "You want to keep him?"

Sky shook her head and picked up the panda, wrapping her arms around him in search of some comfort.

"I can't. Every time I see him, I remember—"

"The Valley Fest?"

"Yeah." Sky blushed. "And... what we did after."

Aisha arched a brow. "Okay, I really don't want to know how Tao Tao was involved in your kinky sex games."

That earned a snort from Sky, even through her tears. "Don't worry, he was just a spectator."

"I don't know if that makes it any better. Maybe you should rename him Peeping Tom."

Sky laughed. "You're horrible!"

"But I made you laugh," Aisha noted. She reached to take the panda from Sky's arms and reluctantly Sky let go of it. "I get that you don't wanna murder him. He is kinda cute. Maybe just box him?"

Sky gave a nod. Maybe some years in a box in the attic would erase the memories the panda held, and she would be able to get rid of him.

They packed Tao Tao in a cardboard box and carried him up the narrow, creaking stairs all the way to the attic, where the air was hot, still, and smelled like old paper, wood, and dust. There Sky gently laid the box on the floor, next to some others, tears falling to her cheeks as she let go of the memories of that night, stuffed them all into the same box, and closed the lid.