Before I Forget

Gone Forever

And just like that, we're back in the chapters where nothing happens. XD

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is reading, voting, commenting, and adding this fic to their reading lists. There are too many of you now to name you all here, but I hope you know that every single vote, every single comment makes me cry happy tears and I could not be more grateful. I could write for myself only, but I feel like a story doesn't exist unless someone reads it, so it's really you guys who make this fic, not me.

Also - a shoutout to the magnificent 'Shayshaybot' (why can't I add a link here, my stupid laptop sucks) who writes insanely good Eli/Hawk fics. Go and read 'Match in the Gastank' and 'Sweetest Pain', because damn - they blow my mind.

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"What do you mean you're not gonna compete in the tournament?" Aisha exclaimed, a shocked expression on her sweet, round face.

They were at the girl's locker room changing into their white gis, and Sky had just broken the news, as on their way here Hawk had told her rather pointedly that if she was serious about this shit, she needed to tell the others.

"I mean that I'm not gonna compete in the tournament, and that's it," Sky said, tying the belt on her waist.

"But why? You're one of the best fighters we have. Only Miguel is better than you, and Maybe Hawk on his good day, but–"

That made Sky smirk. She glanced at Aisha, who was already dressed in the gi, and stood by the door waiting for her.

"Please, I could totally kick Hawk's ass if we ever fought."

"Yeah, probably," Aisha agreed. "Why don't you, though? I've noticed, you spar with everyone else but not him."

Sky shrugged. "I don't know."

But that wasn't entirely true. She remembered the panic in Hawk's eyes when he had accidentally hurt her, and she had spiraled down into her PTSD flashback. She knew Hawk didn't want to put her through that again - and to be honest, Sky didn't want to put herself through that again either.

Which was the exact reason she wasn't going to compete in the tournament, not that Aisha needed to know that. Hawk was still the only one in the dojo who even knew about her diagnosis, and that was the way Sky wanted to keep it.

Sky gave a sigh and adjusted her belt tighter around her narrow waist. It had taken some time, but she had gotten used to the sensation of wearing a gi, up to the point that she almost liked it. And she had to admit that she liked karate too, even if she still missed the freedom of movement and the artistic wildness of capoeira. Compared to that, karate was disciplined, orderly. It forced her chaotic ADHD mind to calm down, to focus, and thus it brought her silence and peace - both things she desperately needed, and both things that didn't come to her naturally.

It had been great to come to the dojo and do karate almost every day. To train, to learn, to drown in the burning of her tired muscles, sweat dripping through her clothes - on many days it had been the only moments of oblivion she got, and it worked better than the opioids.

Sky hadn't had any flashbacks at the dojo either, not since that first one. But the tournament would be different, she knew. Just the thought of all the people watching, her dad in the audience, the loud noises, and flashing lights, made her core tighten in fear. And she knew she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the capoeira tournaments she'd attended with Kat, which would be one more triggering factor, another slippery slope road into a horrible flashback and she'd be bleeding on the cold, tiled floor once again.