Before I Forget

Third Time's a Charm

Sky hadn't spent a moment alone since she'd been released from the hospital. Dad was with her constantly. For days she was bedridden, too sore and tired to do anything, but Dad didn't leave her side for a heartbeat. He moved the TV into her room and they watched films and shows all day long, and when the night fell, Dad slept on a mattress he had dragged into her room, not letting her out of his sight.

Sky suspected Dad didn't sleep at all. When she woke up in the darkest night in the middle of a nightmare, he was already awake, ready to comfort her.

The bathroom was the only place Dad allowed her to go alone, and even then he came knocking on the door and asking if everything was fine, if Sky stayed in for too long.

When Dad cooked dinner for them, he sternly demanded Sky rest on the living room couch instead of her room - he could see her from the kitchen easily. But the truth was that he didn't cook much and mostly they just ate takeaway, pizza boxes, or Chinese food balanced on their knees while they watched Star Trek side by side and ate in silence.

The days blended, one endless day into another one that was just as long and empty.

"You don't have to keep watching me all the time, you know," Sky said when the third day was turning to night, and Dad was tucking her in her bed as if she was a baby.

Dad let out a long sigh. "Well, I disagree."

"I'm not gonna try to kill myself again," Sky replied silently as she laid her head on the pillow. "I mean... This was the third time I almost died. And... and I'm still here. So maybe... I don't know, maybe it was meant to go like this."

Dad sat on the side of her bed and laid a hand on her shoulder as a comforting gesture. "Maybe."

"I know, I know, it's just superstitious crap—"

"It's not," Dad did firmly. "If it makes you believe you have a purpose here, then all the better. Because you do have a purpose. And you need to stay alive."

"So you don't have to sleep in my room, Dad. I'm not gonna do anything stupid."

At that Dad let out a dry laugh and patted her on the shoulder. "Nice try. I'm still sleeping here, maybe until you're thirty."

Sky didn't argue - it would have been pointless against Dad's determination. Besides, no matter what she said, she was still scared of the darkness. The door of death was still partly open in the shadows, and when it was quiet, she could hear the voices whispering, calling to her, promising her rest and silence and peace.

Shutting that door would take more strength than she had alone. So maybe it was a good thing that dad was here, keeping an eye on her so that she wouldn't be tempted to follow the voices.

But drawing her friends into this fight was something Sky didn't appreciate at all.

One or two of her friends visited her every day and stayed at least a couple of hours so that Dad could go out to run errands or just to get out of the house for a while and Sky wouldn't have to be alone.

Sky suspected Dad had contacted them all and asked for their help in organizing this stupid suicide watch ring, and it made her feel ashamed, as if she was 5 years old and in need of a babysitter.

But if her friends felt that way, at least they didn't say it. They all seemed so genuinely concerned for her wellbeing that it made her feel utterly awful.

Miguel came to see her often, sometimes with Carmen. He would sit in her room and talk about anything and everything, telling her stupid jokes and bringing her Yaya's cooking. Sky appreciated Miguel's friendship more than she could say - things had been strained between them for a while after the All Valley, but now all that was forgotten and forgiven and they were real friends again. Sky was grateful for Miguel's never faltering optimism, his constant chattering, and especially for the fact that he didn't talk about Hawk.