Before I Forget

When I'm Gone

I'll probably lose some readers because of this chapter - it certainly happened the last time I went dark - but what the heck, this is my fic and I have to write it the way it comes to me. I can only stay in the realm of heat and humor for so long.

But yeah, if reading about suicidal thoughts isn't your thing, then maybe don't read this?

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They'd had sex three times.

After the first time they had barely caught their breath before starting to make out again, and this time Sky had been on top, she had ridden Hawk until they'd both come, the orgasm so fricking hard it had made him almost black out.

Then they had ordered the pizza, because Sky had said she was hungry, and they had eaten it half naked in the living room while watching some movie that Hawk now couldn't even name since they had never finished it, finding each other's bodies a lot more interesting than anything on the TV screen. They had almost ended up fucking on the couch without a condom - Shit I can't let myself slip like that again, the last thing I wanna do is to get her pregnant! – but Sky had been the smart one and asked if he wanted to go back to her room to get the fricking condoms, or if he wanted her to suck his dick instead.

Well, that hadn't been a hard choice.

She had knelt on the floor before him, as he'd been sitting on the couch - and he had come almost instantaneously, feeling her slick lips surrounding his aching cock. Fucking Hell it had been so awesome it had left him a shivering mess, shattered in pieces.

He definitely wanted to do that again.

But then again, he wanted to repeat every single activity they'd done tonight, and there were still many other things to try too–

"What are you thinking about?" Sky asked, interrupting Hawk's wandering thoughts.

They were in her bed, the curtains were closed as it was night already and soft darkness surrounded them. They had both showered, and as Sky lay on Hawk's arms, her head resting on his shoulder, he inhaled the scent of her moist hair, the strawberry shampoo, with every breath.

"All the sex we had and all the sex we're gonna have," he replied, deciding not to lie about it. He was too fucking spent to get a boner at this point, so it was talk only anyway, at least for now.

"Happy?" she asked, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"I've never been this happy in my whole fucking life."

Sky's head rested on his shoulder and her hand was on his chest, palm flat against his skin as if feeling his heartbeat under the layers of muscle and bone.

"Me too," Sky replied softly. "I'm so happy that it makes me scared."

That made Hawk turn his head so that he could take a look at her, but it was so dark he barely saw her expression. "What are you scared of?"

"The happier I am, the more I've got to lose," she simply said. "Life has a wicked way of taking away the things I love."

"I'm not going anywhere," Hawk said, sudden emotion making his voice raw. He wrapped his arm tighter around her, placed a kiss on top of her head, and she relaxed, her naked body fitting against his like it was meant to be.

They were silent for some time, Hawk's mind drifting back to sex, to all the things he wanted to do with her tonight, wishing himself not to fall asleep because that would be time wasted. Or maybe the sex would have to wait until morning because he really was quite spent after three orgasms...