Tears of our Ruins

The Night that Changed Everything

CORA

I stare at my text from Elliot. We haven't talked these last three days. I don't blame him for avoiding me. I'm sure he's just as embarrassed as I am. Probably more since he was actually having sex and I walked in on him. Plus, I drove away from him and made everything that much more awkward.

ELI:
- I hope you'll be there tonight.

Tonight is his birthday party. I don't want to go. I want to keep hiding and avoiding him. I can't do that though. If I still want him as a friend I need to go. I need to go and show him that it didn't hurt me; that I'm not bothered by what I saw. I need to show him that it wasn't a big deal and that it didn't affect me at all.

It did affect me though. Ava's right. I can't be mad at him because we're nothing but friends. Still though, it hurts. It hurts because he ignored me. It hurts because he picked to fuck her instead of seeing me. It hurts because that kiss really did mean something to me and I want it to mean something to him too. It just really fucked me up. I hold my wrist and cry again. I'm thankful for the cold weather. I know that under my hoodie, under my bracelets, under some bandaids, you'll find cuts. I'm mad at myself for doing it. I promised so many people I wouldn't but the pain was just too much. I needed to release it.

I pick up my phone and read his text again. I have to go. I am going and I'm gonna have a damn good time. I will show Elliot that we are only friends and I'm just like him.

CORA

I adjust my boobs again. This time, I'm thankful for Ava pushing me way out of my comfort zone. I'm wearing a short and tight leather mini skirt. It's high waisted and I have a red lacy bralette on with it. Ava had to tape me in good. I've never shown this much cleavage before. I can't wear a bra with it so it makes me feel naked. I have cute ankle boots and a leather biker jacket to finish the look. Ava does a dark smokey eye for me. I pull my long hair back into a slick ponytail and fluff the curls out. I look sexy and fierce. I'm ready to have fun and to show Eli that I'm not interested in him either. I just hope this fake confidence sticks around.

My nerves are shooting through the roof as soon as I arrive. I showed up late. I'm hoping to get lost in the party and avoid him for awhile. I pull out the bottle of vodka I stole from Ava's and take several big drinks. I can't walk in there sober. If I run into him right away, I need this alcohol. I take another drink and exit my car. The music is blaring out here. Since it's cold, I know the entire house is going to be packed. I slip in and the crowd is so big, they're even standing in the foyer. I toss my jacket on the table that has all the other discarded ones. I squeeze my way through the crowd, heading towards the kitchen. Liquor. That's my mission right now.

I see Elliot. Shit. He's cranking his head, looking around. I dunk down, like I dropped something. It's times like these that I wish I were shorter like my sisters. I can't face him yet. I need more alcohol first. He walks away and I finally make it to the bar. I do several shots of hard liquor with some random guy and I am already the drunkest I've ever been. Now I'm a little worried that I've drank too much but who fucking cares. I said I was having fun so I'm going to.

"Dance with me, stranger," I slur to the cute dark haired guy that did shots with me. We join the other dancers on the makeshift dance floor. I let loose. I channel the sexiness that I don't feel I have. Stranger seems to enjoy it though. He keeps grunting his approval and smoldering at me as I shimmy up and down his body.

"Cora!" Fuck. Buzz kill. "You came."

Time to show him I don't care. "Elliot!" I throw my arms around his neck and give him a drunk hug. "Happy birthday, friend!" I give his cheek a big, wet kiss.