Tears of our Ruins

Girls Night Out

ELLIOT

Steven and Tucker come barreling into our room, waking me from sleep. I tossed and turned all night and I'm exhausted. My mind kept reminding me how good it felt to have Cora in my arms again, to taste her mouth, and to have her body crumble at my touch. Then I'd think of the baby. Is the kid happy and safe? If I were involved with putting it up for adoption, I would have picked the parents. What if it's with a really bad family? Do we know if the baby was even adopted or is it stuck in foster care? Those thoughts make me sick. That's my blood and I don't know if it's safe or not. What if we would have kept it? How would that have played out? What should I do now? Thoughts of getting back together drove me crazy. Should I? Should I not? What if she breaks my heart again? What if it ends up really good?

"You hibernating now or something?" Steven asks as he plops down at my feet.

"Couldn't sleep last night and I want to avoid Cora anyway."

"Well the coast is clear now. The girls went shopping. Ross too. He's so whipped," Tucker laughs. I just nod in response. Nothing seems funny right now. So she's gone but she'll be back later. What then?

"Hey man," Steven says looking serious which is out of character for him, "I didn't get the chance to talk with you last night, but I'm sorry. We just thought that if we gave you both a hard enough kick, you guys would finally get back together. We should have stayed out of it though."

"It was a dick move."

"You fucked her though, right?" I give him a look. Steven is the biggest idiot. "What? You've got some nice scratches on your back, man!" I'm instantly brought back to last night. I remember feeling her nails dig into me. It was hot and it let me know how good she was feeling. "We all heard the moaning too. We were celebrating until we saw her tears."

"You think sex just fixes everything?" I question.

"Sure. If the chick is hot enough, why not? Cora's fucking hot," he shrugs. "So how did it go from you giving her what sounded like some fucking good pleasure, to her running away in tears?"

"Because it was a mistake. Neither of us could control ourselves once the lights turned on. When I said it was a mistake, she got upset and we fought." Then she ran off again. Typical. Another fear why we shouldn't be together. She can't always just run off, but that's what she does. That's her defense mechanism and it's one I fear is impossible to break. How many times has she ran off and I've chased after her? I sigh as my heart and brain fight. There's just too many red flags and I'm scared.

"Are you ok?" Tucker asks. I see the concern on his face.

"Not really. I'm in shock." Tucker knows absolutely everything. Steven, very little. He typically doesn't care what's happening in someone's life if it doesn't involve how hot a girl is, sex, drinking, or music. He's definitely not someone I confide in. "Found out that Cora was pregnant when she ran off."

Steven's laugh, surprises me. "No shit?"

"She really was pregnant?" Tucker asks with shock.

"Yep. She was going to tell me when she surprised me that day but I turned her down so she got the hell out of there as fast as she could."

"Fuck," Tucker mumbles.

"Was it yours?" Steven asks and I throw him a dirty look.

"Yes, asshole. It was my baby." Those words feel heavy on my tongue; my baby. "She put the baby up for adoption. It's weird to know I have a kid out there that I know nothing about. It bothers me."

"Don't know why you're so upset," Steven says as he jumps up and changes into budgie smugglers. I can already hear the girls squealing when they see him. "She did you a favor, mate. You're not ready to be a dad. Now you don't have to worry about the little gremlin."