Tears of our Ruins

Glitter Balls

CORA

I laugh as I check my mom's social media and see that dad is winning the gingerbread house contest. So far anyway. I've inherited his skills. I'm not as good as he is, but I'm giving him a run for his money. We've been decorating gingerbread houses for Christmas for as long as I can remember. We're really competitive with it too. It's always so much fun.

Elliot Rennell's name pops up in my mom's comments and my stomach clinches. "Sorry Bobby," he writes, "but Cora wins this year! Merry Christmas McKenzie's!"

It's been a month since I've seen or talked to Eli. I've almost texted him so many times, but I'm scared. He hasn't tried reaching out to me. With everything that happened, what does it mean for our friendship? What friendship? We're clearly not friends anymore. Friends talk. Things ended too weird and there's no going back. Still though, I miss him.

I open my messages and reread, for the millionth time, our last texts.

ME:
- I'm ok. Thanks for helping. I'm sorry for everything. I'm going to a mental hospital so you don't need to worry about me anymore. Bye Elliot.

ELI:
- No good byes, Coco. I'm not going anywhere. I love you.

I didn't get this until I finally turned my phone back on after coming home. What type of love was he referring to? Why hasn't he reached out again? Does he still think about me? Does he think about that night? How does he feel about it? Does he still regret it? Elliot makes my emotions go everywhere and that scares me. I don't want to lose control of my mental health again. Maybe I just need peace of mind or some kind of closure with him.

I jump in the shower and enjoy the hot water washing over my skin. My Grandma Rose has been staying with us this past week. My Nana Kathy and Papa Richard are coming in tonight for Christmas. I'm excited to spend Christmas with everyone I love. Not everyone though. Elliot isn't here. I slip on a pair of ripped jeans and a comfy emerald green sweater.

I chew on my bottom lip as I grab my phone. Maybe I'll call him and hopefully he won't answer. I'll just leave a message and put this behind me. What if he answers though? Surely he won't. It's Christmas Eve. Just do it, Cora. I quickly hit his contact and listen to it ring and ring.

"Cora?" I hear the surprise in Elliot's voice. Fuck. I panic and quickly hang up, with my heart racing. Shit! He answered!

I jump when my phone begins to ring. I stare at Elliot's picture flashing on my screen. I know I have to answer this. I take a deep breath. "Ummm. Hey, Eli."

"Cora!" He sounds really excited. "It's so good to finally hear your voice. I've missed you." Shit.

"Yeah.... Anyway, I just wanted to say Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too!"

"Alright. I should probably go."

"What? Already? No! You can't." Silence. "Cora?"

I take another big breath. "Yeah, Eli?"

"I wasn't sure if you were still there." Silence. "Hey, are you ok and everything?"

"Yeah. I'm perfect actually."

"Good. I'm truly happy to hear that." Silence. "Why is this weird?"

"Ummm.... Probably because we haven't talked in over a month, since I tried to kill myself. Since... you know what..."

"Cora," he exhales. "I've been desperate to talk to you. I didn't want to stress you out though. I don't know how all this mental health stuff works and I didn't want to make it worse again. I wanted to call and text you a million times and I feel like we do need to talk about everything that happened."