Tears of our Ruins

My Safe Haven

.Almost Exactly Two Years Before Prologue.

CORA

The scenery flashes by unnoticed. My dad is driving and singing loudly to songs from his prime, but I tune him out. My mind is everywhere, trying to forget what I've been through this past year. It's impossible to forget though. These memories haunt me. I just want to move past it all. I just want to forget.

**** Flashback.

I'm standing in the cafeteria. He stalks around me, walking in circles. Everyone is watching, egging him on. "Whatcha gonna do, McKenzie? You gonna cry? Wah. Wah."

"I just want to eat my lunch," I whisper out, adverting my gaze. His laugh sounds like a hyena as he knocks my lunch tray on the floor. The spaghetti lands all over my shoes and splatters up the legs of my jeans. Tears are now boiling in my eyes and slipping down my cheeks.

"Oh look. I made the princess cry," he laughs. His posse is now standing close around us, encouraging him on. "Looks like you've got a bit of sauce right here," he says as he breaks the buttons of my shirt open. My bra is now on display and I cling to the fabric, trying to maintain my modesty.

"Leave her the fuck alone!" Oliver yells as he barges his way through the crowd.

"Stand down, Oli. My beef is with your sister, not you."

"You've taken it too far," Oliver growls at him. "Back off!"

"This isn't over, Cora," he chuckles. He wraps his arm around Mallory's shoulders as they walk away.

Oliver pulls his shirt over his head and slips it over mine. "You ok, Cora?" I can't help noticing the girls standing around react to my brother being shirtless.

"I'm fine," I mumble. "You shouldn't have gotten involved though. I don't want you to end up on his bad side."

He pushes me out of the cafeteria towards the parking lot. "I know, Cora. You remind me all the time and I've turned away even though it's hurting me to do so. This was too far though. He tore your shirt. I couldn't let you stand there like that." I begin to cry again and he pulls me in his arms. It's strange that my baby brother is taller than me, though he's not that much younger than I am. We use to pretend we were twins like Aria and Faye. I wish I were that little again. "Can we please tell mom and dad yet? This isn't right, Cora. We've got to do something."

"No!" I can just imagine how dad will react and it'll make everything worse. "There's only a month left of school. It'll be ok. I just need to get through this month, graduate and then I'll never see him again. Promise you won't say anything."

He sighs. I know how worried he is. "Alright. I promise. Just..." he hesitates as he studies me closely, "promise me you'll come to me if it becomes too much."

"Ok. Promise." He pulls his football practice shirt out of his car and slips it on. I remove my broken shirt and throw it in the backseat. I'm stuck wearing Oliver's oversized tshirt and spaghetti stained pants the rest of the day, but at least my bra isn't showing anymore. "Thanks for helping me."

End of Flashback. ****

"Oh Cora. Earth to Cora." I snap out of my nightmare memory and turn to my dad. "Just checking in. Lost ya for a second there."

"I'm fine, dad. Just thinking."

"Care to think aloud?"

I roll my eyes at him. He means well. I know he does, but he doesn't understand the concept of needing space. "No dad." I glance at him and pick up his frown.

He catches me looking and gives me a cheesy wink. He doesn't want me to see his concern. "Whatever you say, cupcake." He turns up his tunes and continues singing. I feel him studying me often though. I huddle further into my seat and stare back out the window at nothingness.

Scotland.

This is where my dad grew up. I've spent a lot of time here, with my grandma Rose and grandpa Clyde. We even spent an entire summer with them once, but I tuck those memories deeply away.

Scotland is now my place of refuge. It's my safe haven as my life is in turmoil and I'm here to hide from it all. I can hide from it, but I can't run away from my memories.

**** Flashback.

"McKenzie," he whispers against my ear. "Are you wet for me yet?"

"Just leave me alone."

He laughs. He's always laughing at me. "Now why would I want to do that? You're too much fun."

I hoist my book bag over my shoulder. I don't want to deal with him right now. I begin to walk away, but he grabs my backpack and pulls me against him. He spins me around and throws me against a door. My book bag falls to the floor. I hear the snickers from his friends standing nearby. "Is my smarty pants gonna cry now?"

"No. I just want to go home."

He shoves a folder against my chest. "Here's my homework. Do it for me or else."

I find an ounce of strength within. I'm tired of this shit. "Or else what?" I snarl at him.

He laughs. "Oh. Gettin feisty on me." He pushes his body against mine. The door handle is digging into my back, hurting me. "Or else I'm gonna jump you in the bathroom. I'll make you pay for ever fucking with me. Nobody fucks with me you fucking tease."

"I didn't though. I'm sorry, but I didn't..."

"I wouldn't want to fuck you anyway. You're fat and ugly. Get that in your head," he yells and everyone laughs. I suck my tears in. He can't see me cry anymore. He won't see me cry.

End of Flashback. ****

"Cora, you haven't been a very fun travel buddy," my dad nudges me.

I look around and realize we're already parked outside my grandma Rose's house. "Whatever, old man."

He scoffs. He hates it when I call him that. "I'm not an old man yet."

"Sure. What are you? Like in your 50's or something?"

"No. Not yet. I'm only 47. Regardless, 50's isn't old. Isn't it like the new 30's or something?"

"No dad. It's not. If it makes you feel any better, you're a pretty cool old dude though."

"I'm not old, Cora!" He sighs with annoyance.

I jump out of the car and stare at my grandma's house. I can't believe this is my life. I'm eighteen. I should be moving into college like all the other kids my age. I had plans and dreams. Instead, I'm moving in with my grandma to hide. My shoulders slump in defeat. I'm pathetic.

How did I get here? How did my life fall so far off the path that it's no longer moving but standing still instead?

My grandma comes barreling out of the house. "Cora!" She shrieks! "I'm so happy you're here." She pulls me out of her embrace and studies me with that look I've come to hate.

"Good to see you to, ma." My dad rolls his eyes but he has a huge smile on his face.

"Oh you hush, Bobby. You know my grandbabies come first." She pulls dad into a tight hug. "Come on. The haggis is almost ready." Gag.